Musashi - Eiji Yoshikawa [50]
There was always, of course, her flute, but by the time a girl is sixteen, there are questions and uncertainties inside her that can’t be answered by a piece of bamboo. She needed intimacy and a sense of partaking in, not just observing, real life.
“It’s all so disgusting!” she said out loud, but voicing her feeling in no way mitigated her hatred for Matahachi. Tears spilled onto the little lacquered table; the angry blood coursing through her veins turned her temples blue. Her head throbbed.
Silently the door behind her slid open. In the temple kitchen, the fire for the evening meal burned brightly.
“Ah ha! So this is where you’ve been hiding! Sitting here letting the whole day slip through your fingers!”
The figure of Osugi appeared at the door. Startled out of her abstraction, Otsū hesitated a moment before welcoming the old woman and putting a cushion down for her to sit on. Without so much as a by-your-leave, Osugi seated herself.
“My good daughter-in-law …” she began in grandiose tones.
“Yes, ma’am,” answered Otsū, cowed into bowing deeply before the old harridan.
“Now that you have acknowledged the relationship, there’s a little something I want to talk to you about. But first bring me some tea. I’ve been talking till now with Takuan and the samurai from Himeji, and the acolyte here didn’t even serve us refreshments. I’m parched!”
Otsū obeyed and brought her some tea.
“I want to talk about Matahachi,” the old woman said without prelude. “Of course, I’d be a fool to believe anything that lying Takezō says, but it seems Matahachi is alive and staying in a different province.”
“Is that so?” said Otsū coldly.
“I can’t be sure, but the fact remains that the priest here, acting as your guardian, agreed to your marriage to my son, and the Hon’iden family has already accepted you as his bride. Whatever happens in the future, I trust you don’t have any ideas about going back on your word.”
“Well …”
“You’d never do such a thing, would you?”
Otsū let out a soft sigh.
“All right then, I’m glad of that!” She spoke as though adjourning a meeting. “You know how people talk, and there’s no telling when Matahachi will be back, so I want you to leave this temple and come live with me. I’ve more work than I can handle, and since my daughter-in-law’s got so much on her hands with her own family, I can’t drive her too hard. So I need your help.”
“But I—”
“Who else but Matahachi’s bride could come into the Hon’iden house?” “I don’t know, but—”
“Are you trying to say you don’t want to come? Don’t you like the idea of living under my roof? Most girls would jump at the chance!”
“No, it’s not that. It’s—”
“Well, then, stop dawdling! Get your things together!”
“Right now? Wouldn’t it be better to wait?”
“Wait for what?”
“Until … until Matahachi comes back.”
“Absolutely not!” Her tone was final. “You just might start getting ideas in your head about other men before that. It’s my duty to see that you don’t misbehave. In the meantime, I’ll also see that you learn how to do field work, care for the silkworms, sew a straight seam and act like a lady.”
“Oh. I … see.” Otsū had no strength to protest. Her head still pounded and with all this talk of Matahachi, her chest tightened. She feared saying another word lest she release a torrent of tears.
“And there’s one other thing,” said Osugi. Heedless of the girl’s distress, she raised her head imperiously. “I’m still not quite sure what that unpredictable monk plans to do with Takezō. It worries me. I want you to keep a sharp eye on the two of them until we’re sure Takezō is dead. At night as well as in the daytime. If you don’t take special care at night, there’s no telling what Takuan might do. They may be in cahoots!”
“So you don’t mind if I stay here?”
“For the time being, no, since you can’t be in two places at once, can you? You will come with your belongings to the Hon’iden house the day that Takezō’s head is separated from his body. Understand?”
“Yes, I understand.”
“Make sure you don’t forget!” Osugi barked as she whooshed