Musashi - Eiji Yoshikawa [536]
Takuan said, “Then it was you and Daizō who robbed the treasure house.” “Yes,” Jōtarō replied without the slightest sign of contrition.
“So you are a thief,” said Takuan.
Jōtarō lowered his head to avoid Takuan’s eyes. “No … no,” he murmured lamely. “We’re not just common burglars.”
“I was not aware that thieves came in different varieties.”
“Well, what I’m trying to say is we don’t do these things for our own gain. We do them for the people. It’s a matter of moving public property for the good of the public.”
“I don’t understand reasoning like that. Are you telling me your robberies are righteous crimes? Are you saying you’re like the bandit heroes in Chinese novels? If so, it’s a poor imitation.”
“I can’t answer that without revealing my secret agreement with Daizō.” “Ha, ha. You aren’t going to let yourself be taken in, are you?”
“I don’t care what you say. I’ll confess only to save Musashi. I hope you’ll put in a good word for me with him later.”
“I wouldn’t be able to think of a good word to put in. Musashi’s innocent. Whether you confess or not, he’ll be freed eventually. It seems to me it’s far more important for you to take yourself to the Buddha. Use me as an intermediary and confess everything to him.”
“Buddha?”
“That’s what I said. To hear you tell it, you’re doing something grand for the sake of other people. In fact, you’re putting yourself before others. Has it not occurred to you that you leave quite a number of people unhappy?”
“One can’t consider himself when one is working on behalf of society.”
“Stupid fool!” He struck Jōtarō soundly on the cheek with his fist. “One’s self is the basis of everything. Every action is a manifestation of the self. A person who doesn’t know himself can do nothing for others.”
“What I meant—I wasn’t acting to satisfy my own desires.”
“Shut up! Don’t you see you’re barely grown? There’s nothing more frightening than a half-baked do-gooder who knows nothing of the world but takes it upon himself to tell the world what’s good for it. You needn’t say any more about what you and Daizō are doing; I have a very good idea already…. What are you crying about? Blow your nose.”
Ordered to bed, Jōtarō lay down obediently but couldn’t get to sleep for thinking of Musashi. He clasped his hands together over his chest and silently begged forgiveness. Tears dribbled into his ears. He turned on his side and began thinking about Otsū. His cheek hurt; Otsū’s tears would hurt worse. Still, revealing his secret promise to Daizō was inconceivable, even if Takuan tried to get it out of him in the morning, as he was sure to do.
He got up without making a sound, went outside and looked up at the stars. He would have to hurry; the night was nearly gone.
“Stop!” The voice froze Jōtarō where he was. Behind him, Takuan was a huge shadow.
The priest came to his side and put his arm around him. “Are you determined to go and confess?”
Jōtarō nodded.
“That’s not very intelligent,” said Takuan sympathetically. “You’ll die a dog’s death. You seem to think that if you give yourself up, Musashi will be set free, but it isn’t that simple. The officials will keep Musashi in prison until you tell them everything you’ve been refusing to tell me. And you—you’ll be tortured until you talk, whether it takes a year, two years or more.”
Jōtarō hung his head.
“Is that what you want, to die a dog’s death? But you have no choice now: either you confess everything under torture or you tell me everything. As a disciple of the Buddha, I’ll not sit in judgment. I’ll relay it to Amida.”
Jōtarō said nothing.
“There is one other way. By the sheerest chance, I happened to meet your father last night. He now wears the robes of a mendicant priest. Of course, I never dreamed you were here too. I sent him to a temple in Edo. If you’ve made up your mind to die, it’d be good for you to see him first. And when you see him, you can ask him if I’m not right.
“Jōtarō, there’re three paths open to you. You must decide for yourself which one to follow.” He turned away