Mussolini_ His Part in My Downfall - Spike Milligan [29]
2.30. 5.30 Birch 10 Pinchbeck 3 Gordon 6 Fildes 9 Wenham 2
5.30. 8.30 Milligan 1 Sherwood 4 Hart 7 Birch 10 Pinchbeck 3
25th Day 26th Day 27th Day 28th Day
8.30 Wenham 2 Thornton 5 Radford 8 Milligan 1 Sherwood 4
12.30 Pinchbeck 3 Gordon 6 Fildes 9 Wenham 2 Thornton 5
12.30 Sherwood 4 Hart 7 Birch 10 Pinchbeck 3 Gordon 6
4.30 Thornton 5 Radford 8 Milligan 1 Sherwood 4 Hart 7
4.30 Gordon 6 Fildes 9 Wenham 2 Thornton 5 Radford 8
8.30 Hart 7 Birch 10 Pinchbeck 3 Gordon 6
(Scotch up) (Scotch up) (Scotch up)
25th Night Scotch up Hart
Milligan Scotch up
Will Duty Sig.
on at 0430
call Mr Wright
Each signaller did three hours at night, thus giving him a good few hours’ sleep.
A big attack is going in tonight. The Grenadiers and Scots Guards are the poor bastards. They’ve got to take the hill to our immediate right to deny Jerry observation and put our OP on it. The sirens have gone and an air raid starts on Naples. 0430: the Artillery opened up and fired non-stop until 0624, then a silence. From the distant hill we hear the dreadful sound of Spandaus and Schmeisers that are spraying the early morning with bullets, and I can’t but wonder at the courage of these lads in the Guards Brigade going forward into it. What a terrible, unexplainable lunacy. There must have been a lot of casualties as there was talk of us having to send gravedigging parties. In the end they sent some Gunners from the Wagon Lines. When they came back they spoke of Italian civilians being shot out of hand by Germans. There must be a lot of needle between these two nations. I should hate to be a German prisoner thrown to an Italian mob…The mosquito-bites and the scratching have turned our faces into what from a distance look like uncured bacon. In desperation I had rubbed Sloane’s Liniment on my face, and lo! it kept them away!!
“I’ve done it, Harry,” I said, rushing into the Command Post with bottle in my hand.
“What have you done?” said Edgington, turning from the Telephone Exchange, “and if you have done it in that bottle, don’t empty it in here.”
“I’ve stopped the mozzies biting me,” I said.
“How?” said the great man.
“Sloane’s Liniment,” I said.
“How in God’s name did you get ‘em to drink it?”
Even as he spoke I regretted the new-found repellent, my face started to sting and then burn as though it was on fire. I had to plunge my head repeatedly into a bucket of cold water. It was hours before the stinging stopped, wasn’t anybody on my side?
During the day there was a story that suddenly, on one of our wireless sets, a German had been heard asking for information. The Signaller recognised the accent and said, “Fuck off, Fritz.” The answer was instant, “Alright, English bastards, Off.”
Thank God. Naafi today! A tin of fifty fags. With trembling hands we pounced on them and soon we are wreathed in smoke. I notice three brass hats with maps walking to a position behind our guns; one carried a shooting stick. He was a tall dignified man with lots of medal ribbons (or were they laundry marks?). I watched as he placed his shooting stick behind him and sat down. There was a pause, then the whole shaft of the stick disappeared slowly into the muddy ground, leaving the owner on his back. Guffaws from us all. The Colonel rose to his feet and shouted, “It’s not funny.” There was a great chorus back, “Oh yes it is.”
Alf Fildes has been bed down, he’s got the squitters and we keep our distance. Gunner Roberts and Gunner Ferrier sleep next to each other; now, Roberts talks in his sleep. Somewhere in the wee hours he says, “You’re next, you’re next.” Ferrier, half asleep, says ‘Alright’, gets up, gets dressed and goes on guard.
OCTOBER 23, 1943
Today non-stop firing. In the Command Post there’s hardly time to light a fag in between Fire Orders. A party of our linesmen have nearly been driven mad; they have been reeling in what was an old telephone line. They went on reeling in for two miles only to discover that another battery was in fact reeling it out. Harry comes back on M truck and says, “We’re all bloody mad, fancy