Must You Go_ - Antonia Fraser [0]
NONFICTION
Mary Queen of Scots
Cromwell, the Lord Protector
King James VI of Scotland, I of England
The Lives of the Kings and Queens of England (editor)
Royal Charles: Charles II and the Restoration
The Weaker Vessel
The Warrior Queens
The Wives of Henry VIII
Faith and Treason: The Story of the Gunpowder Plot
Marie Antoinette: The Journey
Love and Louis XIV: The Women in the Life of the Sun King
FICTION
Quiet as a Nun
The Wild Island
A Splash of Red
Cool Repentance
Oxford Blood
Your Royal Hostage
The Cavalier Case
Political Death
Jemima Shore’s First Case and Other Stories
Jemima Shore at the Sunny Grave and Other Stories
ANTHOLOGIES
Scottish Love Poems
Love Letters
Copyright © 2010 by Antonia Fraser
All rights reserved.
Published in the United States by Nan A. Talese/Doubleday,
a division of Random House, Inc., New York.
www.nanatalese.com
DOUBLEDAY is a registered trademark of Random House, Inc.
Nan A. Talese and the colophon are trademarks of Random House, Inc.
Originally published in Great Britain as Must You Go?: My Life with Harold Pinter by Weidenfeld & Nicolson, a division of The Orion Publishing Group Ltd, London.
A portion of this work originally appeared in Vogue.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Fraser, Antonia, 1932–
Must you go? : my life with Harold Pinter / Antonia Fraser.—1st American ed.
p. cm.
1. Pinter, Harold, 1930–2008. 2. Dramatists, English—20th century—Biography. 3. Authors, English—20th century—Biography. 4. Fraser, Antonia, 1932– I. Title.
PR6066.I53Z6457 2010
822’.914—dc22
[B] 2010007374
eISBN: 978-0-385-53251-8
v3.1
CONTENTS
Cover
Other Books by This Author
Title Page
Copyright
Preface
Part One
1 First Night
2 Pleasure and a Good Deal of Pain
3 Reader, We Lived Together …
4 Theatre of the World
5 Our Newfoundland
6 Open-Boating
7 A Super Study
8 It Is Here
Photo Insert 1
Part Two
9 Writing Images
10 Unreasonable but Right?
11 Moon over Prague
12 Stage Wife
13 Marriage – Again
14 Moonlight and Ashes
15 France: Celebration
Photo Insert 2
Part Three
16 The Steps Downward
17 The New Dead
18 Worst of Times, Best of Times
19 Fortitude
20 I’ll Miss You So Much
PREFACE
The subtitle of the book declares its contents: this is ‘my life with Harold Pinter’, not my complete life, and certainly not his. In essence, it is a love story and as with many love stories, the beginning and the end, the first light and the twilight, are dealt with more fully than the high noon in between, described more impressionistically.
I have based it partly on my own Diaries; these have been kept since October 1968 when I suffered from withdrawal symptoms after finishing my first historical biography Mary Queen of Scots, the centre of my existence for so long. I have also used my own recollections, being careful to distinguish between the two, immediate reactions (I always write my Diary the next morning unless otherwise noted) and memories.
On the whole Harold did not read these Diaries (although he was free to do so: they were not kept secret). I have noted the rare occasions when he made a comment or scribbled something in it himself.
I have also quoted Harold where he told me things about his past, once again noting the source, and have occasionally quoted his friends talking to me on the same subject. Looking back at the Diaries, I see that I always paid special attention to any green shoots where Harold’s writing was concerned. Although it was not a conscious process, I suppose this was a consequence of a biographer living with a creative artist and observing what went on first hand.
Harold and I lived together from August 1975 until his death thirty-three and a half years later on Christmas Eve 2008. ‘O! call back yesterday, bid time return,’ cries one of his courtiers to Richard II. This is my way of doing so.
PART ONE
Chapter One
FIRST NIGHT
I first saw Harold across a crowded room, but it was lunchtime,