Must You Go_ - Antonia Fraser [124]
Fascinating, masterly, deceptive speech, starting exactly where you want him to go, art, the enigma and all that, and then pow, exactly where perhaps cravenly, many don’t want him to go, the politics. ‘Sometimes a writer has to smash the mirror,’ says Harold. Yes, indeed. I hear smashing sounds all round me.
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I would like to be able to record that that supreme effort, by a man in much pain who goes in an ambulance from a cancer hospital to issue a clarion call to the world, was followed by a rallying of Harold’s health. But it was not so. The dark days of the early spring of 2006 were probably the time of greatest discomfort of all – so far. It might be nice to be like Elizabeth Bennet, who recommended her ‘philosophy’ to Mr Darcy at the end of Pride and Prejudice: ‘Think only of the past as its remembrance gives you pleasure.’ But that would be to ignore Harold’s extraordinary fortitude – no other word is appropriate.
Back to Nobel Days:
7 December
Nobel Day. Watched Harold’s speech on More4. I was quite stunned afterwards since there was far more acting than I remembered. I marvelled at the well-judged pauses, the relaxed gestures. And the strategy for the speech: I like the idea of the American Embassy gathered round and as Harold talks about his work at the start: ‘So that’s all right: the guy is talking about Art.’ And then, Wham, Bam. After watching, I visited this rather pitiful, utterly brave creature in his cell, his skeletal appearance striking me all over again as he sat in his dark blue dressing-gown. Harold felt a bit low, he said, towards evening. A reaction? He did all that and still he was in hospital having four dressings a day …
31 December
Harold to Betsy Reisz and Haya Clayton, who came to play bridge: ‘This is the worst year I’ve ever had.’ Much worse than 2002 when he was only in hospital for two weeks. The Nobel Prize hardly seems to count in the field of his emotions.
2006
8 January
Harold gave me two presents to celebrate the anniversary of ‘Must you go?’, both alike in dignity. One was a marquise ring, a lozenge-shaped Edwardian ring of diamond tracery, which is designated the Nobel Ring. The other was a list of corrections for Love and Louis XIV – the latter even more heroic under the circumstances than the former. We debated the French for ‘Must you go?’ Me: ‘Est-ce qu’il faut t’en aller?’ Harold: ‘But I would have called you “vous”.’
29 January
Tony Blair has written Harold a letter about the Nobel Prize. It’s rather a good letter under the circumstances, mentioning their ‘disagreement’ – well, you could call Harold naming Tony Blair a war criminal a disagreement – but congratulating him all the same on what he has done for literature. It is ‘Dear Harold, Yours Tony’ although they have never met. Harold has replied today: ‘Dear Prime Minister, Yours Harold Pinter’, but referring to his ‘generous’ congratulation, considering their ‘disagreement’. It is good to use the word ‘generous’ because it makes Harold, by implication, look generous too.
5 February
Jeremy King and Susanna Gross came to play bridge. Much talk congratulating me on my ‘bravery’. Felt rather embarrassed as I haven’t been particularly brave, to be honest, being very often in despair. In retrospect I think I was brave in 2002 but it was the bravery of ignorance. This applies to quite a lot of courage, of course, but not all.
18 February
A great day. Harold went over to the Super-Study, last seen on 7 November when he took half an hour to complete his Nobel Speech and then went to the Chelsea & Westminster Hospital.
27 March
Harold had lunch with Ian Rickson today and it looks as if Krapp’s Last Tape is a real goer and it’s my measure of