My Childhood - Maxim Gorky [84]
When she was telling a story she rocked from side to side all the time, just as if she were in a boat. If she was relating something sad or terrible, she rocked more violently, and stretched out her hands as if she were pushing away something in the air; she often covered her eyes, while a sightless, kind smile hid itself in her wrinkled cheek, but her thick eyebrows hardly moved. Sometimes this uncritical friendliness of hers to everybody touched my heart, and sometimes I wished that she would use strong language and assert herself more.
"At first, for two weeks, I did not know where Varvara and Maxim were; then a little barefooted boy was sent to tell me. I went to see them on a Saturday--I was supposed to be going to vespers, but I went to them instead. They lived a long way off, on the Suetinsk Slope, in the wing of a house overlooking a yard belonging to some works--a dusty, dirty, noisy place; but they did not mind it--they were like two cats, quite happy, purring, and even playing together. I took them what I could--tea, sugar, cereals of various kinds, jam, flour, dried mushrooms, and a small sum of money which I had got from grandfather on the quiet. You are allowed to steal, you know, when it is not for yourself.
"But your father would not take anything. 'What! Are we beggars?' he says.
"And Varvara played the same tune. 'Ach! . . . What is this for, Mamasha?'
"I gave them a lecture. 'You young fools!' I said. 'Who am I, I should like to know? ... I am the mother God gave you . . . and you, silly, are my own flesh and blood. Are you going to offend me? Don't you know that when you offend your mother on earth, the Mother of God in Heaven weeps bitterly?'
"Then Maxim seized me in his arms and carried me round the room ... he actually danced--he was strong, the bear! And Varvara there, the hussy, was as proud as a peacock of her husband, and kept looking at him as if he were a new doll, and talked about housekeeping with such an air--you would have thought she was an old hand at it! It was comical to listen to her. And she gave us cheese-cakes for tea which would have broken the teeth of a wolf, and curds all sprinkled with dust.
"Things went on like this for a long time, and your birth was drawing near, but still grandfather never said a word--he is obstinate, our old man! I went to see them on the quiet, and he knew it; but he pretended not to. It was forbidden to any one in the house to speak of Varia, so she was never mentioned. I said nothing about her either, but I knew that a father's heart could not be dumb for long. And at last the critical moment arrived. It was night; there was a snowstorm raging, and it sounded as if bears were throwing themselves against the window. The wind howled down the chimneys; all the devils were let loose. Grandfather and I were in bed but we could not sleep.
"'It is bad for the poor on such a night as this,' I remarked; 'but it is worse for those whose minds are not at rest.'
"Then grandfather suddenly asked: "'How are they getting on? All right?' "'Who are you talking about?' I asked. 'About our daughter Varvara and our son-in-law Maxim?'
"'How did you guess who I meant?'
"'That will do, Father,' I said. 'Suppose you leave off playing the fool? What pleasure is to be got out of it?'
"He drew in his breath. 'Ach, you devil!' he said. 'You gray devil!'
"Later on he said: 'They say he is a great fool' (he was speaking of your father). 'Is it true that he is a fool?'
"'A fool,' I said, 'is a person who won't work, and hangs round other people's necks. You look at Jaakov and Michael, for instance; don't they live like fools? Who is the worker in this house? Who earns the money? You! And are they much use as assistants?'
"Then he fell to scolding me--I was a fool,