My Dark Places - James Ellroy [161]
She was sparkling now. I wanted more. We were in a parked car together. She was there under duress. I couldn’t wheedle or arouse her for more. Other people had to give it to me.
I didn’t know how to get more. Bill acted independently and showed me.
Joe Walker ran all the Hillikers in Wisconsin. He got a Leigh Hilliker in Tomah. Tomah was near Tunnel City. Bill called Leigh Hilliker. He was 84 years old. He was my mother’s first cousin. He said Leoda Wagner was dead. Ed Wagner was hospitalized in Cross Plains, Wisconsin. Jeannie Wagner was now Jeannie Wagner Beck. She lived in Avalanche, Wisconsin. She had a husband and three kids. Janet Wagner was now Janet Wagner Klock. She lived in Cross Plains. She had a husband and four kids. Leigh Hilliker knew the Ellroy-Stoner story. He saw the Day One show last year. Bill asked him if the Wagners knew. He said he didn’t know. He had their addresses and phone numbers. He didn’t stay in touch. He didn’t call them and mention the show.
Bill got Janet Klock’s number and Ed Wagner’s hospital number. He called them. He told them what we were doing. They were flabbergasted and altogether delighted. They figured I died in some L.A. gutter 15 years ago.
Uncle Ed was 80. He had congestive heart disease. Leoda died seven years back. She had cancer. Janet was 42. She was the town administrator of Cross Plains, Wisconsin. She said she had some lovely photographs. Her mother gave them to her. Aunt Jean was beautiful. She said the pictures went back to her childhood.
She said Aunt Jean was married once before. It was a very brief marriage. She was married to a young man named Spalding. He was an heir to the Spalding sporting goods fortune.
Bill called me and broke the news. I was more than stunned. Bill said we should go to Wisconsin. He stressed the family angle. I agreed to go. The family bit did not factor in to my decision. The photographs and the Spalding rumor convinced me.
It was more. It was her.
29
Ed Wagner died. We postponed our trip to Wisconsin.
Ed was old and sick. He wasn’t terminal. He died unexpectedly. The Wagner sisters buried him beside Leoda. The cemetery was a hundred yards from Janet’s back door.
I didn’t know him. I saw him a dozen times total. I took my father’s hard line against him. He was a kraut and a draft dodger. It was a shaky indictment. Ed always treated me well. He was pleased to learn that I was alive and successful. I never called him. I wanted to see him. I owed him apologies. I wanted to extend them face-to-face.
I called the Wagner sisters. We made travel plans before their father died. We started out nervous. We unclenched. Janet said Leoda would have been so proud of me. I disagreed. I wanted to destroy Leoda’s take on her sister. Janet said Leoda would not tolerate slurs on Geneva. Ed was more open-minded. He had a balanced view. Jean drank too much. She was troubled. She never shared her troubles.
I spoke frankly. My cousins reciprocated. I described my mother’s life and death in blunt terms. They said I broke Leoda’s heart. I said I tried to patch things up with her 18 years ago. I critiqued my mother tactlessly. Leoda was shocked. I blew my shot at reconciliation.
Jeannie was 49. She managed a local greenhouse. Her husband was a college professor. They had two sons and a daughter. Janet married a carpenter. They had three sons and a daughter. The last time I saw them was Christmas ’66. Leoda flew me to Wisconsin. The mark wasn’t hip to the con man.
Leoda got hip. She hipped her daughters. Leoda packed a mean grudge.