My Journey with Farrah - Alana Stewart [47]
We won’t leave for Frankfurt tomorrow, that’s for sure. Friday is Dr. Vogl’s last day before he leaves for his vacation, and Dr. Jacob and he feel it’s essential she have the liver perfusion. I don’t see how she can handle much more. This has been too much for one body to take.
The Three Musketeers.
Tina Sinatra and I have been best of friends since I first moved to L.A. In the beginning of our relationship, when my mother died, she showed up at the funeral to support me, and we’ve been best friends ever since. I introduced her to Farrah, though I can’t remember exactly when. All I know is that we just clicked from the beginning. We were all so different, but we brought out the best in one another since day one.
We had this tradition—every time we were together, we had to take a photo. Tina always says she’s hidden behind our big Texas blond hair, which Farrah and I took great pleasure in doing intentionally! This shot was taken at Christmas in 1991. We shared a lot of fun times together: birthdays, holidays, parties, and just intimate dinners at one of our houses. Tina has the biggest heart in the world. She is the kind of gal you love having as a friend…but would hate to have as an enemy.
ONE DAY AT A TIME
June 19, 2008
Farrah definitely can’t travel today. She’s still too weak. This morning, for the first time, I felt her determination starting to slip.
“I was thinking earlier that I wasn’t going to make it this time,” she confessed to me. “I have just never suffered as much as these last two days.”
I did my best cheerleading. “Of course you’re going to make it. We just have to take it a day at a time.”
Truthfully, I’m worried about the trip to Frankfurt for the liver perfusion. To travel five or six hours in a car in her weakened state and go through another surgical procedure is asking a lot. She’s so weak she’s having trouble just walking to the bathroom. I know Dr. Vogl and Dr. Jacob both feel she must have this second perfusion to continue to shrink the tumors in her liver. Dr. Jacob is more worried about the liver than anything else and feels it’s essential for Farrah to have it. I suggested we take a nurse with us, and Dr. Vogl seconded the idea. We’ll have to see how she is tonight.
I can’t believe Dr. Jacob left for a conference and isn’t here all day. She is so busy, and as a result I have to make important decisions for Farrah without any medical advisement. And we’re here in a country where we don’t speak the language. This is crazy. I feel like I’m in over my head—a child trying to do something she’s not equipped to do. This is all new to me. I sometimes feel like there’s no one to drive this stagecoach and it’s getting out of control. But having said all that, I know I’m strong and I have to help her through this. No one could go through this alone. You have to have someone there all the time, fighting for you.
June 20, 2008
We’re on our way to Frankfurt after all. Dr. Jacob finally came in this morning and spoke to Dr. Vogl again. The only choice now is to go today or wait for almost three weeks. Dr. Jacob also talked to Dr. Forman at City of Hope in Los Angeles last night, after we coordinated the phone call and insisted they speak. He’s going to try to get Farrah into a trial of a new cancer treatment that both he and Dr. Jacob think could be very beneficial for her. She couldn’t start right away, however, so he was also in favor of her going to Dr. Vogl if she can make it.
Farrah decided to go for it. She’s so weak and in so much pain, she can hardly walk. At my insistence, they finally found a nurse to come with