My Journey with Farrah - Alana Stewart [60]
We had planned to possibly go look at Jaguars today because her car lease was up and she needed to find another one right away. I figured it was out of the question now, but she said, out of the blue, “Let’s go look at those Jags.” So we put it all behind us and went off to the Jag showroom. Soon we were oohing and aahing over the beautiful new cars and it was as if we were just girlfriends on a shopping trip again. In the end, the man wasn’t able to give her a very good deal, so we went straight to Mercedes, where she found a car she loved.
When she had to make the decision about the number of years she wanted to lease it, she looked at me and smiled wryly. “This is where I always have trouble…”
Even in the middle of everything, we still had girls’ night in.
It was right after New Year’s, January 2, 2009. Farrah, Tina, Wendy Stark, and I all went over to Tina’s new house so that Farrah could see it. I was so glad she was getting out of the house for a fun evening. She needed it; we all did.
Tina’s house was so warm and Christmasy. We posed in front of the twinkling Christmas tree, which Tina always keeps up long after Christmas. Wendy brought a pound of decadent caviar, and we ate it on baked potatoes that Tina made. Farrah looked so good, so vibrant. Amazing, in fact, considering all she’d been through. We toasted to her health with champagne.
After a while, Farrah started to feel weak and had to lie down. Suddenly it was like we were back in reality, the past two years catching up with us in an instant. She was having these weird symptoms—one leg was swollen twice the size of the other one—and we were hoping for answers on Monday when she had a scan.
Just for this brief moment, this girls’ get-together, we were happy and not thinking of what tomorrow or Monday might hold. We were not worrying about Farrah or the doctors or cancer. We were simply in the here and now with the happiness and hope of a bright new year—a group of friends who’d been through it all.
LOOKING FOR A MIRACLE
October 21, 2008
I had to find all of Sean’s test results tonight so I could take it to the rehab center tomorrow. He came to me and said he’d relapsed and that he would like to go back into treatment. I’m so proud of him for making that decision on his own. I feel that this experience is going to help him grow up and become a responsible young man. I really believe in him; I always have.
November 4, 2008
What a horrible, horrible day—for so many reasons. I woke up feeling terrible—cramps in my stomach, weak, dizzy. I ran out to vote and stopped by to check on Farrah. There has been a nurse at the house since yesterday morning because she started throwing up again and couldn’t stop. I was alarmed to see how frail she was.
I called Dr. Piro and he wanted me to bring her straight to the hospital. She could barely make it into my car, and when she got there, I had to lay her down in the backseat. Of course then I had to maneuver my way through bumper-to-bumper traffic all the way to the hospital. The whole time I could hear her moaning, and I kept trying to catch a glimpse of her in the rear-view mirror. By the time we finally got there, the hospital director was waiting outside with a wheelchair, and he promptly took her to a room.
For the first time, I fear that this could be one of those setbacks that Dr. Jacob talked about and that she might not come out of it. I talked to Dr. Piro at length and we both agree that he’s got to keep her there and do whatever tests are necessary to find out what’s causing the vomiting and the bleeding. He even mentioned the possibility of exploratory surgery. Right now everything looks dark and hopeless. Where is my faith, God? Help me get it back.
November 5, 2008
I’m waiting for Dr. Piro to call me back about Farrah. I just spoke to her in the hospital and she sounds much better, more like her old self. She was giving some nurse