My Journey with Farrah - Alana Stewart [63]
“You have to see Farrah as God’s perfect child, free of disease and suffering,” she instructed me. She didn’t actually pray with us—she does that part of it in her meditation at home. She said that I could read the textbook to Farrah and that I should especially say the Lord’s Prayer, that it was a very powerful healing prayer.
After she had gone, I stayed for a few minutes and read Psalm 23 out loud: “The Lord is my shepherd…” Farrah seemed very calm and at peace. I really think there’s something to this Christian Science business. I headed for home feeling more positive than I have in a long time.
November 13, 2008
Farrah had the new chemo late last night and it went very well. Fortunately, she didn’t get sick from it. At the hospital, I called Diane, the Christian Science practitioner, and she spoke to Farrah on the speakerphone. I read a little out loud from the book before I left. Maybe this is the miracle we’ve been asking for. Things seem to be going so much better since this lady has been praying for Farrah. She’s leaving the hospital this morning to go back home.
November 15, 2008
Farrah and I may be going back to Germany. We both spoke to Dr. Jacob at length yesterday and she has some ideas that she feels certain could help Farrah. We’d have to leave on the first of December and be gone three weeks. That means getting home just before Christmas. I’m not sure how I feel about it, but if we have to go, we’ll just go. If this chemo that she just had is working, maybe we could go after Christmas instead. I’d prefer that, but maybe Farrah shouldn’t take the chance. It’s so hard to know what’s right.
November 28, 2008
It’s the day after Thanksgiving and I’m exhausted from cooking for two days. Farrah was feeling well enough to come over two nights in a row and make pies with me. This new chemo appears to be working, which means we have even more to be thankful for. We won’t go to Germany until after the first of January. God, I’m relieved not to have to miss the holidays at home.
She was able to come for dinner last night. I can’t help wondering how many more Thanksgivings and Christmases she has left. I hate that I even have that thought, but I guess it’s only natural for it to cross my mind. She talks about it herself. She doesn’t know how much time she has…a year, two, maybe five? I know there can be a miracle, but the chances seem to be getting more remote with every new scan.
December 4, 2008
This healer from the Philippines, Father Fernando Suarez, came to see Farrah today. He was a small, dark-skinned man with a powerful presence. A friend of ours had called to tell me about him, and I set up an appointment for him to come see her. Apparently people have had amazing healing experiences from just seeing him one time. He prayed for her with his hands on her body and gave her two bracelets to wear and a prayer to say every day. Afterward he came over to me. The minute he touched my body I started to cry. He pointed to my chest and said I had a lingering virus that was causing me to be susceptible to other viruses that come along. Exactly what I’ve been experiencing. He prayed and gave me the same bracelets to wear and blessed some water for both of us to drink.
Afterward we both felt drugged. I did a few errands and then went home feeling just wiped out. I got into my flannel pajamas and crawled into bed and stayed there the rest of the evening. Farrah and I talked later and she felt the same. Maybe it’s our bodies healing. God, I hope so.
December 25, 2008
It’s Christmas night and everyone has eaten and gone on their way. I should feel happy at having spent a lovely night with my children and my friends, but I’m feeling unbearably sad. Farrah looked so frail tonight. Every day she has horrible side effects from this last round of chemo, and we don’t even know for sure if it’s working.
Last night she came over to make pies. I know she could barely make it, but she loves doing it