My Lucky Life in and Out of Show Business_ A Memoir - Dick Van Dyke [0]
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Published in the United States by Crown Archetype,
an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group,
a division of Random House, Inc., New York.
www.crownpublishing.com
Crown Archetype with colophon is a trademark of Random House, Inc.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Van Dyke, Dick.
My lucky life in and out of show business: a memoir / Dick Van Dyke.
1. Van Dyke, Dick. 2. Television actors and actresses—United States—Biography. 3. Comedians—United states—Biography. I. Title.
PN2287.V335A3 2011
791.45′028′092—dc22
[B] 2010043698
eISBN: 978-0-307-59226-2
TITLE PAGE PHOTOGRAPH: AP PHOTO/JERRY MOSEY
JACKET DESIGN BY JENNIFER O’CONNOR
JACKET PHOTOGRAPH COURTESY OF THE AUTHOR
Additional photograph credits.
v3.1
To my kids—
CHRIS, BARRY, STACY, AND CARRIE—
who taught me all I know about love
STAN:
You remember how dumb I used to be?
OLIVER:
Yeah?
STAN:
Well, I’m better now.
—Laurel and Hardy (Block-Heads, 1938)
If I’m known for giving people decent entertainment and raising good kids, that’s all right.
I’ll have lived a good one.
—Me
CONTENTS
Cover
Copyright
Title Page
Dedication
FOREWORD BY CARL REINER
INTRODUCTION
PART ONE
1. Step in Time
2. The Yawn Patrol
3. Special Services
4. The Merry Mutes
5. Live on the Air
6. A Seven-Year Contract
7. Laugh Lines
8. Bye Bye Birdie
9. Rob and Laura Petrie
10. Showtime
11. Canceled
12. Business as Usual
13. A Jolly Holiday
14. Family Values
15. Seeing Stars
16. Upsets and Good-byes
PART TWO
17. Never a Dull Moment
18. Some Kind of Nut
19. The New Dick Van Dyke
Photo Insert
20. The Morning After
PART THREE
21. Sailing Away
22. Another Fine Mess
23. Divorce American Style
24. Em-va-zema
25. Strong Medicine
PART FOUR
26. The Old Man and the TV
27. Diagnosis Fun
28. Curtain Calls
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
INSERT PHOTOGRAPH CREDITS
FOREWORD
BY CARL REINER
In the last fifty years, I have oft been asked what I consider to be my most rewarding theatrical experience, and without hesitation and with total honesty, I say, “The Dick Van Dyke Show!”
Since this is a foreword to Dick Van Dyke’s autobiography, I will not dwell on any of the other talented and brilliant members of that show but on the man whose name inspired its title. After watching Dick deliver scripted lines that made them seem cleverer, more elegant, and funnier than I had imagined them to be, I looked for ways to challenge his ability.
There is one “incident” that Dick did not write about in this book that I think bears inclusion. It occurred during the rehearsal of “Gesuntheit, Darling,” a second-season episode I’d written during which Rob is afflicted with a sneezing fit. Every time he hugs or kisses or comes near his son, Ritchie, or his wife, Laura, he goes into a paroxysm of assorted sneezes that vary in length and volume and comical sounds. Rob, naturally, concludes that he is allergic to his family. As I watched Dick deliver his variety pack of authentic sneezes, I was in awe of his ability to find that many different ways to sneeze while still delivering his lines. Everyone there on the set—the cast and crew and myself—who watched his awesome symphony of sneezes was doubled over with laughter. It was when he finished his performance that I thought, This man can do anything!, and to prove it to myself and to the assembly, I asked if he was up to a challenge. Without knowing what I was going to ask, Dick, of course, said yes and I challenged him to do the following:
“Dick, just for fun,” I said, “in this order, can you sneeze, cough, belch, hiccup, yawn, and pass gas all while trying to stifle the giggles?”
No sooner were the words out of my mouth than Dick delivered the entire order—and at a rapid-fire pace!
Darn, as I write this, I wonder if he can still do the above and add the “itchy ear,” “buzzing bee,” and “cinder in his eye” that just popped into my mind.
I’ll bet Dick can—and with no apparent effort, for there is no end to that man’s kinesthetic