My Reality Check Bounced! - Jason Ryan Dorsey [30]
When Brandon learned of this, he put on a suit and immediately went to talk with the manager of the condo project. He told the manager that he could move in the very next day and, if he were allowed to rent a condo, he would help recruit other responsible tenants. The manager and Brandon struck a deal: Brandon would attend one networking function on the condo management’s behalf every week and in exchange he would get to rent a condo unit for $500 a month instead of the regular $1,750. Now that’s plugging in!
When Brandon had to move out of the condo a year later, it sold for over $200,000. The entire year he lived there he only paid $500 a month in rent, and every time he recruited a new tenant, the condo managers paid him!
* * *
BOUNCED:
I need to meet and greet as many people as possible to help me reach my Future Picture.
CASHED:
I realize that plugging in with quality people makes reaching my Future Picture much easier.
* * *
THE SPOTLIGHT IS ON YOU
The challenge for you is learning how to plug in now so you always have, or can quickly make, the quality connections you need.
The best way to think about how to do this is from the perspective of the person you want to plug in with. Whether you realize it or not, people—from friends and family to strangers and co-workers—are always analyzing you. They are watching, noting, discussing, and remembering you and your actions. I’m not saying this to make you paranoid, but think about it: We all naturally do this to some degree. You may have done this by silently watching a girl at a coffee shop from a distance to see if she appears approachable. You may have done this by speculating with your co-workers about a new hire before you really get to know him. You may have done this assessing how difficult a professor will be before you finish your very first class. Based on your interpretation of the signals the person you’re observing sends and receives, you make judgments about whether to try and talk to her, whether she is intelligent, whether she has money, maybe even if she is a potential threat. Based on all these signals you make a ton of assumptions that affect how you engage the person you’re observing.
It’s easy to overlook, but people are applying this same thought process toward you. They are doing it 24/7, 365 and it’s time you sent and received the signals necessary to attract the people you want in your network.
You send and receive signals in two main ways: physically and verbally. You physically send and receive signals by the way you carry yourself, smile, laugh, listen, frown, cry, walk, shake hands, stand, make eye contact, dress and so on. You verbally send and receive signals by how you talk, ask questions, debate, joke, e-mail, instant message, interrupt, offend, gossip, profile yourself on a site like myspace.com, and so forth. To get plugged in and stay connected you must fine-tune your signals to match the Future Picture you desire.
To help you plug in using whatever network you have now, I’ve divided the remainder of this chapter into two sections:
• Sending signals: getting your message across
• Receiving signals: getting the message from others
Note: You may be wondering why I’m not using the word communication in this chapter. I’m avoiding that word like the plague because many people strongly link communication with talking. In truth, you send and receive loads of information without talking. By using the word signal throughout this chapter I help you keep in mind how much information you convey without ever making a sound.
SENDING SIGNALS
WORD UP
As a late-blooming teenager, I had the squeakiest voice known to any wannabe man. Whenever I answered the telephone with “Hello,” the caller would always reply, “Yes Ma’am…” Ordering at a drive-through brought the same response. This was only slightly embarrassing, unless my friends were in the car cracking up at my expense.
These awkward adolescent exchanges had a huge effect on me. They taught me the incredible power of verbal signals. What you