My Reality Check Bounced! - Jason Ryan Dorsey [32]
Instead, I found that at best I had ten seconds, approximately two to three sentences, to grab the other person’s attention. If I could successfully do this, then I could open the door to talking with him for much longer. Those all-important first sentences became my IM—introductory message. Having two or three great sentences ready to go makes it easier for me to start conversations with anyone, anywhere.
You’d be wise to create your own IM, so you always have a few great opening lines ready for making new, important contacts. Having a few polished introductory sentences shows you are confident, intriguing, intelligent, and memorable. It also makes it easier to get the other person’s contact information. She can see you’re worth talking to again. To create your own IM, consider what you have to say that would interest other people. Don’t just tell them how great you think you are or how much you know. Instead, tell them only enough so that they are intrigued and ask to hear more. Comedy and similarity can be good conversation starters, too, but if you’re not funny don’t introduce yourself with a joke. The other person may think you’re the punch line! Lead with your well-rehearsed IM, and you can turn any stranger into your new hottest contact.
Twenty-six-year-old Sonya knows about IMs—good and bad. She is a bartender at a popular night club. Over the years she’s heard so many cheesy pickup lines—which are really a form of introductory message—that she and her friends have started writing down the worst ones:
• I’m rich, I’m bored, and my mom would approve of you.
• Is your dad a thief? Because he stole the stars and put them in your eyes.
• Your shirt would go great on my carpet.
• Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only ten I see.
TO PLUG IN: Write down twenty-five potentially great opening lines that could serve as your all-important introductory message. Narrow them down to your five favorites. Call three friends whom you respect and ask them which of the five opening lines best introduces you, your strengths, and your ambitions.
Here are three IMs I might use, depending on the situation:
Example 1: My name is Jason. I write books. [The ultimate coffee shop pick-up line.]
Example 2: My name is Jason. I own a company that helps people get good jobs.
Example 3: My name is Jason. I help people get back on their feet when life knocks them down.
4. Go beep yourself. Cell phones seem as if they have become an extra body part. I hear people talking on them during dinner, in the middle of movies, and even in the bathroom! In fact, I know only one twentysomething who doesn’t have a cell phone. Instead, he has two, which he carries with him at all times: one for personal phone calls and one for business phone calls. Even my little sister in middle school is on her second cell phone!
All this reliance on cell phones makes your voice-mail greeting the first contact point for many people trying to reach you. This raises the importance of this recorded greeting, because you never know who might be calling. It could be friends from college, your grandma, a banker, or a potential employer.
My friend Jake knows the power of voice mail, because his ex-girlfriend used it against him. When they broke up she changed his work voice-mail greeting to something totally offensive. It took him a full day to figure out why he wasn’t getting any messages at work. When a friend finally clued him in to the offensive voice-mail greeting, he was really embarrassed. He doesn’t know how many calls he missed because of the insulting greeting. However, he does vow to never again tell a girlfriend his password!
Another friend of mine, Angela, had a pretty typical voice-mail greeting that simply said, “This is Angela. Leave me a message.” I suggested she make it a little more upbeat and professional because she