My Reality Check Bounced! - Jason Ryan Dorsey [56]
Are you like Zack or Christina? Or are you someone who genuinely feels a pull to have your life mean something? Someone who realizes life may not be fair, but you are determined to make it work anyway. It’s this attitude of personal responsibility and resilience that will keep you pushing forward when all appears lost. Release your excuses and take control of how you handle everything life throws your way. It’s time for you to kick your own “but…”!
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BOUNCED: I would like to succeed, but…
CASHED: I will succeed—no ifs, ands, or buts about it.
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When you refuse to make excuses, you put yourself at an instant advantage. You position yourself to immediately learn from setbacks, challenges, missed opportunities, and disappointments. These seemingly expensive real-life lessons become bargains because they keep you from repeating costly mistakes and help you get wiser faster to what works in the real world.
The opposite happens when you make excuses. The moment you blame anyone or anything for your predicament, you tell your brain it is okay to stop trying to solve your problem. You are setting yourself up to repeat the same mistakes again and again and again.
At the same time, while hiding behind excuses makes it harder for you to learn important lessons, it also makes it more difficult for other people to step up and help you when you need it most. Why? When you make excuses, you make it difficult for other people to…
1. Trust you: your excuses show that your word is not your bond.
2. Help you: your excuses show that you don’t want to help yourself.
3. Teach you: your excuses show that you are not hungry to learn.
Throw away your excuses, and your mind will begin to see new solutions to old problems. Your character will attract the people you need on your tag team. Your confidence will grow with each challenge you are able to conquer. Throw away your excuses, and you can grab on to something solid: your future!
YOUR EXCUSES—EXPOSED
To help you get rid of your excuses so you can get on with your life as quickly as possible, you need to identify your biggest excuses and what to do about each one. Some of these excuses I’ve covered in earlier chapters: the “I don’t have any connections” excuse, the “my past keeps holding me back” excuse, and the “I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up” excuse. I hope, we can start putting those to bed—or at least give them a nap!
I’ve compiled a list of other classic excuses that most keep our generation from reaching our goals. Before I share them with you, I challenge you to write the three excuses you rely on most often. If three excuses don’t immediately come to mind, think of what you said the last time you tried to talk your way out of trouble, the primary reasons you believe you won’t reach your biggest goals, or the three barriers that have consistently held you back.
• Excuse 1:____________________________________
• Excuse 2:____________________________________
• Excuse 3:____________________________________
I know that most of you won’t write your three biggest excuses. But let’s pretend you did. The excuses you would have written represent deep fears that you may or may not want to address. You’ll learn more about these in Chapter 9. For the moment, just recognize that the excuses you choose to use limit your life, progress, and experiences.
So why do you continue to use them? Over time, your excuses feel safe, comfortable, and predictable—like a virtual security blanket. They insulate you from the unpredictable harsh realities of a world that doesn’t always go your way. This virtual security blanket tricks you into thinking a situation or setback isn’t your fault, responsibility, or problem. Unfortunately, this security blanket is imaginary. In the real world, the decisions you make and the path you take are your choice—and your choice alone. Excuses only limit your