My Reality Check Bounced! - Jason Ryan Dorsey [73]
The doctors said I was getting sick and staying sick because I was pushing myself so hard. I was not giving my body time to recover. My stressed-out lifestyle was making my body weaker and weaker. The result would be my eventual burnout or physical collapse. They said I was a poster child for the overworked young professional who stresses themselves straight into a heart attack before turning forty.
I was hoping they would tell me I could heal myself by eating more spinach or switching multivitamins, but they said a temporary remedy wouldn’t work. They said I needed to cancel all my appointments and sit on my butt for two weeks. They said that a two week stay-at-home vacation would help me see how to reprioritize my life.
SANITY TO THE RESCUE
Being told to stay home for two weeks didn’t sound like vacation to me. In fact, it sounded like house arrest. But when my mom found out what the doctors said, I had no choice.
After running full speed for so long, I didn’t know how to slow down and get my life in order. So I went to my mentors for advice. At the time, I had four mentors (whom I found through the steps outlined in Chapter 6). These mentors had already achieved incredible success in different areas of their life and were helping me do the same. I figured they would have something profound to tell me. Instead, they laughed.
Not like someone laughing at you, but like someone laughing with you because you both tripped on the same step when no one was looking. I soon learned that every one of my well-respected mentors was a recovering workaholic or lifeaholic (people who work hard and play hard). One of my mentors did not alter his crazy work schedule until his second heart attack. Another waited until his third divorce, and another postponed a more peaceful life until he unexpectedly received full custody of his two elementary-age kids.
I was surprised to learn that my mentors had gone through the same physical and mental exhaustion I was experiencing. Some bottomed out in their late twenties, but most were in their mid-thirties when they really hit the wall. They shared how this physical and emotional defeat pushed them to get serious about how they lived the one life they had. All my mentors emerged stronger from their close calls with burnout, and they told me that I could, too—if I started paying attention to where I was in such a hurry to go.
My oldest mentor—he’s now seventy-two years old—explained that it wasn’t how many hours I worked in a day or a week. What mattered was how much time I consistently invested toward building a life—not just building my wallet or achievements. (This mentor still jogs every day with his wife of forty plus years!)
He explained that there was no magic formula for finding life balance. But the further out of balance I became, the shakier my health, happiness, relationships, and future would become. He said that I should listen to my doctors’ warnings now, so I wouldn’t make myself sick running past once-in-a-lifetime memories.
That’s not what I wanted to hear at age twenty-five.
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BOUNCED: Being extremely busy means I’m a success.
CASHED: Success is having the time to do what makes me feel most alive.
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FOUR WAYS TO GET YOUR BALANCE BACK
When my mentor approached his own burnout point in his mid-thirties, he survived by changing his entire routine. He realized that to live the life he wanted his routine had to reflect his life priorities—not just his career priorities. He put each of his life priorities in order and then set aside time each day to be true to them. This strategy made his schedule less hectic while bringing him closer to new, important priorities: family, spirituality, and health.
Action 1. Find Your Focus
From my mentor’s experience, the secret to success was to do what you must first, so you have time the rest of the day to do what you want. This was my first lesson in the power of focus. When you learn to focus your time and energy, you can go from hopping hurriedly in