Naamah's Blessing - Jacqueline Carey [67]
“It’s just so unfair!” My voice broke on the last word.
“I know.” Bao held me and breathed the Breath of Ocean’s Rolling Waves, deep and soothing. “I know.”
Comforted by his warmth and worn out by sorrow, I fell into sleep as though it were a bottomless pit from which I never wished to emerge.
I slept, and dreamed.
I dreamed I was back in the Palace, standing in the hallway outside the door to the enchanted bower Jehanne had had made for me.
I took a deep breath before I opened the door.
Jehanne was there, seated on the edge of my bed beneath the green fronds of the great fern. As ever, the fern-shadows painted delicate traceries on her fair skin; but this time, she was fully clothed. She lifted her head as I entered the room, and her blue-grey eyes were bright with tears.
She knew.
A choked sound escaped me. I crossed the room and fell to my knees before her, burying my face in her lap. My shoulders shook with sobs, the sobs of profound grief that I’d not yet loosed. Jehanne held me, stroking my hair until the worst of the storm had passed. It was a long time before I could look up at her.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered.
“I know,” she said sadly. There was a depth of knowledge and wisdom in her beautiful face that she’d only begun to acquire in life. “So am I. And I am angry, too, my beautiful girl. But Daniel had borne all that he could, and I forgive him for it.” She stroked my cheeks, wiping away the tracks of my tears. “This was one blow too many.”
I repeated what I knew was a child’s futile protest. “It’s not fair!”
“No, it’s not,” Jehanne agreed. “But that doesn’t mean there isn’t a purpose in it.” Her hand lingered against my cheek, cupping it with affection. The sorrow in her star-bright eyes reminded me of the sorrow in the gaze of the Maghuin Dhonn Herself when She had laid a destiny on me. “It’s coming time, Moirin.”
Even in a dream, I felt cold. “Time for what?”
“You.”
I swallowed hard. “What do you mean?”
Jehanne bent her silver-gilt head toward me as though she meant to kiss me or whisper a secret in my ear. I could smell her glorious, intoxicating scent wrapped around me, feel her soft breath on my cheek.
“Thierry is alive,” she said to me.
TWENTY-FIVE
Thierry is alive.
For the second time in my life, I jerked away from my lady Jehanne’s touch. I found myself on my feet without knowing how I’d gotten there. She sat without moving on the edge of the bed. I stared at her, aghast.
“Why didn’t you tell me before?” I shouted at her. “Gods, Jehanne! I could have kept your husband from killing himself! I could have kept your daughter from becoming an orphaned political pawn!”
She shook her head with regret. “I couldn’t.”
“Why?” I demanded.
“There are rules, Moirin,” Jehanne said in a gentle tone. “I don’t always understand them, but there are. I wasn’t allowed to know until now. It was his fate. Desirée’s depends on you now.”
I paced the room in a fury. “Thierry’s alive? You’re sure? You’re sure?” She nodded. I fetched up before her, flinging my arms wide. “So what am I to do about it?”
“You’re to cross the sea to Terra Nova, find Thierry, and bring him back,” Jehanne said simply.
Tears of frustration stung my eyes. “That’s all?”
“Yes and no.” Her exquisite face was grave. “I don’t know, Moirin. Not all of it. Only what I’m allowed to. But this business with Raphael… that’s where it’s meant to be concluded.”
That caught me up short, my diadh-anam blazing like a bonfire in my chest.
Raphael de Mereliot.
He had vanished along with Prince Thierry and the rest of the expedition, and my destiny was bound up with his. It always had been, and it remained unfinished. Of course he was alive, too. In my grief, I hadn’t even thought of it. I sighed and sat beside Jehanne on the bed. “I swore an oath to protect your daughter, my lady,” I murmured. “Would you have me forsworn?”
“Never.” Jehanne laced her fingers with mine, raising one hand to kiss it. “But you can’t do it from here.”
“I can try!” I protested. “Better here than afar!”
“You’ll fail,” she said with candor. “Moirin,