Naamah's Curse - Jacqueline Carey [120]
I climaxed beneath his mouth, moaning shamelessly and clutching his broad shoulders.
“I pleased you?” Aleksei looked startled and glad.
I laughed softly. “Yes, my hero. Would you like to please us both further?” I pulled him down atop me, reveling in the weight of him, reveling in the warmth of his skin against mine, wrapping my legs around him. “Come here.”
Aleksei was fully hard and erect again, the blunt head of his phallus nudging at my nether-lips in a tantalizing manner. His blue, blue eyes gazed earnestly into mine. “I won’t hurt you?”
“No.” I shook my head. “You would need to have greater care with a virgin,” I added. “But you will not hurt me.”
He nodded as though I’d given him a gift.
I reached between us, grasping his phallus and shifting my hips. The swollen head slid into me.
Aleksei caught his breath, thrusting; and the whole thick length of him filled me. His blue eyes widened. “It’s so…”
“I know.” I kissed him, hard and deep, Naamah’s blessing like honey on my tongue. “I know, sweet boy. I know.”
FORTY-TWO
I liked the aftermath almost better than the love-making.
For the first time since I had known him, Aleksei was content in his own skin, calm and happy.
Fading sunlight filled the room. The candle I had lit burned low on the windowsill.
Naamah’s blessing lay over us like a blanket.
“You are so very well made, Moirin,” Aleksei murmured, stroking the curve of my hip. “As though your disparate gods conspired to combine all the best aspects of their folk in you. Tell me, how did you know the right words to say to me?”
I shook my head. “I didn’t.”
“You did, though.”
“No,” I said. “Naamah put them in my mouth.” I hesitated. “What did they mean to you?”
Aleksei touched my face. “I cannot explain it, not entirely. But she told me to trust my heart. And I realized that it does not matter that you cannot love me as I wish. It matters that I love you.”
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, my eyes stinging.
He wrapped his strong, young arms around me. “Don’t be. I’m not.”
I laid my head on his chest. “I’m glad.”
“I think this is what it must have been like for Edom and Yeva in the Garden before the fall,” Aleksei mused. “To take pleasure in the light of day without fear of sinning, to be naked and unashamed. I think this is what I was meant to understand, Moirin. That state of grace is not lost to us after all; it is only that we have lost our way. Perhaps that is why God granted a measure of license to his errant grandson Elua and his disobedient servants. Perhaps their message is one we need to hear.”
“Gods have mercy, I’ve made a heretic of you,” I murmured.
He laughed, his breath stirring my hair. “Maybe. But I think rather that you’ve led me to the beginning of a deeper understanding of my faith.”
I lifted my head. “No more mortification of the flesh?”
“No more,” Aleksei promised. “At least not the kind meant to punish for desires that are natural and beautiful in their own right. I still believe there is merit in discipline such as fasting. As you said, this is a gift, and like any gift, it can be used for good or evil. I needed to hear that, too. Needed to hear it acknowledged.”
I smiled at him. “I suspect you’ll use it for good, sweet boy. You’re too gentle a soul to do otherwise.”
“I hope so,” he said earnestly. “But my father used it carelessly, and ruined my mother’s life because of it… Oh!” His expression changed, half-stricken and half-hopeful. “Moirin. What if I’ve gotten you with child?”
“You haven’t,” I said gently. “It’s a gift Eisheth granted to the women of Terre d’Ange, and I’m D’Angeline enough to have inherited it. I’ll not be fertile until I pray to her to open the gates of my womb.”
Aleksei’s face fell. “Oh.”
I sat upright, taking his hand and stroking it. “You’ll find her someday, Aleksei.