Naamah's Curse - Jacqueline Carey [137]
“Some.” I smiled ruefully. “The memories were offered freely. The curse wasn’t the dragon’s doing, and it was Master Lo Feng who restored life to the dead man.”
She swallowed. “Bao truly died?”
I nodded. “Bao truly died.”
Her face was vulnerable. “I didn’t know.”
“He should have told you,” I said quietly. “And I will say again, I apologize to you. I didn’t know about you, either.”
“No, I know.” Erdene sniffled. “Stupid boy!”
I laughed.
Through her tears, she summoned a faint smile. “You must love him very much. I thought I did, but I would never undertake such a quest.”
“Oh…” I glanced toward the south where Bao’s distant diadh-anam guttered, still and always calling to mine. “You might if your bedamned destiny insisted on it.” Rummaging in my satchel, I found the last item I was missing—the crystal vial of Jehanne’s perfume, her parting gift to me. Tilting it, I could see that a bit of liquid remained. The cut facets caught the bright sunlight, refracting it into tiny rainbows. My heart ached anew at the loss of her. “And where last I called home, nothing but grief awaits me.”
“It’s pretty, that bottle,” Erdene offered in a soft tone. “And the scent smells so very, very nice.”
“Yes, it does.” I put it away, back in the satchel. “Thank you, my lady. You didn’t have to do this. I am grateful.”
“I didn’t do it for you.”
“I know.” I busied myself repacking everything. “But I am grateful nonetheless. Is there more you can tell me about this menagerie of enemies and allies I face?”
Erdene shook her head. “Nothing useful.”
“I should be going, then.”
“How do you plan to cross the desert?” she asked.
I blinked at her. “Desert?”
“Yes, Moirin.” She gave me an impatient look. “Beneath the shadow of the Abode of the Gods, no rain falls. It is all desert. Do you know the route to the caravanserai?”
“No,” I admitted.
She sighed, scraping a patch of overgrazed earth clear. “I will draw you a map. Fix it in your mind, and do not wander into the desert alone, or you will die before you reach the mountains.”
We knelt and leaned our heads together over the map Erdene sketched in the dirt. She laid out the route clearly, describing and indicating landmarks, and I did my best to fix it in my memory.
“You describe it well,” I said when she had finished.
Erdene straightened and rested her hands on her thighs. “I studied the map with Bao before he left.”
“You aided him?” It surprised me.
“Yes.” She looked away. “I was angry at him, but what my father did was wrong. And I suppose…” She gave a little shrug. “You belong together, you and Bao. No matter how much it hurts to admit it, it is true. For whatever purpose, the gods have joined you. When you came, I saw a fierce passion in him I had never seen before. He loves you, not me.” A wry smile curved her lips. “As you see, I am no thief, to keep what does not truly belong to me. I would rather know Bao was happy with you than miserable with me.” She looked back at me. “I did not know my father had sent you to Vralia, I swear it.”
“I know,” I said.
“Was it terrible there?”
“Yes.” I couldn’t read her expression. “Terrible in its own way. I was lucky to escape alive. If it would please you to know that I suffered, I did.” I glanced at the map. “Although I suspect there is more suffering in store for me.”
“It doesn’t please me.” Bowing her head, Erdene fidgeted with the sash wrapped around her long coat. “Once upon a time I thought it would, but it doesn’t. What you said to me before about not being ashamed of love and desire… Before all this happened, before my father betrayed you… it helped. And it helped to know you had once loved a man who did not love you in return, too. It made me feel less of a fool.”
“I’m glad,” I said. “And I do not think you are a fool at all, my lady.”
Lifting her head, she smiled a crooked smile. “Even though I still love him?”
“Especially so,” I said firmly. Getting to my feet, I extended my hand to her. “It takes courage to love.”
Erdene took my hand and rose. Her