Naamah's Curse - Jacqueline Carey [206]
I stole a glance at Amrita. She looked herself again—lovely, but ordinary and mortal. She met my eyes and gave me a rueful little smile. “I can still try to change the world, can’t I, Moirin? Or at least my little corner of it?”
I smiled back at her. “Yes, my lady. You can and will.”
The spell of Kamadeva’s diamond broken, the reality of our situation reasserted itself. Grown men stumbled to their feet, dazed, checking themselves for injuries. Others lay moaning and bleeding on the floor.
For a mercy, Bao took charge effortlessly, ordering the living to tend to the wounded, applying compresses and tourniquets, stanching the bleeding of myriad injuries. Although he was no physician, having been Master Lo’s apprentice for many years, he knew a fair bit; and I knew enough to help him.
Over a dozen dead… ah, gods!
I had seen worse, far worse, in Ch’in; but Ch’in was a vast empire, and the scale of that conflict almost unimaginable. Bhaktipur was a tiny kingdom, and the impact of the deaths that had occurred within this small throne room hit hard. I knew at least half the fallen by name, and all of them by sight.
In the midst of it all, Jagrati knelt huddled on the floor, her hands wrapped around her head, her body shivering.
We ignored her, worked around her, until there was nothing left to be done and it was impossible to ignore her any longer.
Bao nodded at her, his face tense. “What will you, highness?”
“I don’t know,” Amrita said uncertainly. “She is harmless now. But she has done great harm. I suppose… I suppose…” She shrugged helplessly. “We must take her with us, eh? Let the laws of justice decide her punishment.”
I stooped and touched Jagrati’s shoulder.
She uncoiled like a serpent, catching my hand in a hard grip and rising, her glittering gaze fixed on mine as she hauled me to my feet.
Memories, bitter memories, unfolded behind her eyes. Even without Kamadeva’s diamond, Jagrati’s gaunt, angular beauty was compelling. From a very early age, men had found it so, a great many men. They had used her hard, used her cruelly, taking her against the walls of alleys, over and over again, stealing away shame-faced and satisfied. There had been no recourse, no one to protect her. Until the day she had stolen Kamadeva’s diamond, she had been a helpless victim.
I caught my breath, seeing too much.
Jagrati gave me a tight smile. “You see things, don’t you, oh so pretty dakini?”
“Yes.”
“Untouchable.” She released my hand, regarding her own, dark creases in her pale palm. “That is what they call us.” Her gaze flicked toward Amrita. “That is what you call us.”
“I am coming to believe otherwise,” Amrita murmured.
“Untouchable,” Jagrati repeated, a catch in her throat. She laid her palm against my cheek and I let her, my pity giving way to genuine sympathy. “And yet it never seemed to matter when no one was watching. Men were happy enough to touch me when it suited them, so long as no one saw it. It is a man’s world. Men make the rules, and men decide when it is acceptable to break them. Even your precious Rani is only waiting for her son to grow old enough to take her place.” She took her hand away, her expression hardening. “But I made a difference. Here, I carved out my own place. Here in Kurugiri, I ruled. I made the choices.” She glanced at Bao. “Didn’t I?”
He gave her an inscrutable bow, his staff tucked under one arm. “Yes, my dark lady. You most certainly did.”
Another bitter smile twisted her lips. “You have an uncommon streak of willfulness. I should have cut my losses when your Moirin returned from the dead. But you… you were one of my favorites, Bao. I didn’t want to lose you.”
“I was not yours to keep,” he said in a flat tone. “None of us were. And yet look around, my lady.” He gestured. “You have lost everything.”
Jagrati raised her voice to a hoarse, rasping shout. “Do you think I don’t know it?” The words echoed off the walls, falling into a thick