Naamah's Kiss - Jacqueline Carey [100]
I flushed. "My diadh-anam is disconcerted by the day's events," I offered, striving for diplomacy.
She looked away. "I see."
It was ridiculous to feel hurt, but I was—by both her frigid manner and Raphael's utter disregard. So I sat and tried to be pleasant while the others teased Prince Thierry for playing the role of the damsel in distress in our budding epic. He endured it cheerfully. I wished I did feel my diadh-anam quicken for him. I liked him well enough. One might suppose it would be a worthy destiny for one of the Maghuin Dhonn to capture the heart of the heir to Terre d'Ange. It might mean great things for my people. But the spark inside me was quiet.
For a mercy, it was decided that the remainder of the hunt was to be canceled after we dined. Thierry professed himself sore from his fall and suggested an excursion to Balm House.
"The adepts there are among the best masseurs in the world." He smiled at me. "Will you allow me to treat you? It will be my first act of thanks for your saving my life."
Miserable as I was, the idea didn't appeal. I fidgeted with my bow. "Viper bites aren't necessarily fatal, you know."
"They can be." Thierry nudged me. "Say yes."
"Mayhap Moirin has yet to recover from her visit to Cereus House yesterday," Lianne Tremaine drawled. "How was your assignation?"
Hot blood scalded my face. "Oh…" I glanced involuntarily at Jehanne. A hint of a cruel smile curved her lips. "Fine."
Lianne pressed me. "Oh, come! Who did you have?"
If I could have sunk into the earth, I would have. "Forgive me, but I'm not accustomed to speaking freely about such matters," I said in desperation. "It's not done among the Maghuin Dhonn."
The King's Poet looked puzzled. "But you're the one told me yourself that—" She caught herself before humiliating me outright by informing the entire hunting party that Raphael de Mereliot had told me I had a lot to learn in bed.
"Oh, leave her be!" Thierry put an arm around my shoulders. "Moirin's been busy saving lives and limbs. I reckon we can give her a few days' grace to accustom herself to D'Angeline ways."
"Visiting Cereus House makes for an ambitious start," Balthasar Shahrizai observed. His vivid blue eyes studied me keenly, the sharp edges of his gift probing. "What made you choose it?"
Once again, my gaze slid toward Jehanne.
"Ah yes, of course." Balthasar smiled and said something in a foreign tongue. The others laughed.
Thierry's face darkened. "Enough," he said shortly. "Let's be off."
As we rode back toward the palace, I asked him what Balthasar had said.
"Nothing of import." He grimaced. "A Caerdicci proverb about two women competing for the same man."
"Oh." At least Balthasar had misunderstood my glance. In a way, he wasn't wrong. I had chosen Cereus House because Jehanne had trained there. "Thierry, do you really think she wishes you dead?"
"Jehanne?" He didn't answer right away. "No, I suppose not."
"Then why is she so angry at me for killing the viper?" I asked.
Thierry gave a short laugh. "Moirin, she's not angry at you for saving my life. She's angry because it made you the center of attention. In her world, Jehanne is the sun and the rest of us are but humble planets orbiting around her."
"Oh." It didn't make me feel better. I didn't want to be the center of attention. In fact, I didn't have the slightest idea what I wanted anymore. All I knew was that I was a wretched knot of conflicting desires. I wished I'd never gotten caught up in this mess, wished I didn't feel bound to Raphael, wished I'd never let Jehanne seduce me. I wished there was one person in this bedamned realm I could truly trust, so I could at least talk openly with another living soul without finding my confidence betrayed.
I wished my mother were here.
The thought made me so homesick, I nearly wept. I would have given up every gown and bauble Raphael had given me and Thierry's lovely filly for five minutes of my mother's counsel. The meadow swam in my gaze. With one surreptitious hand, I rubbed my eyes hard