Naamah's Kiss - Jacqueline Carey [117]
Valac.
I held on to the twilight. In the world a mere half-step away, a member of the Circle was speaking to the figure of a pretty boy in a white tunic. I was aware of it in the distance, like the sound of insects droning on a hot summer day. In the world I inhabited, a half-naked boy with raven's wings and goat's eyes grinned at me, baring pointed teeth.
You again.
"Me again," I agreed. The distant droning sounded agitated. "Will you not give them what they want? They'll let us both be if you do."
He shook his head. I've already done so. Having obeyed the injunction once, I am not compelled to repeat myself.
"Is this a game to you?" I asked.
His pointed grin widened. Yes.
I sighed. "Good to know."
In the world behind me, the droning changed in pitch, sharpening. Someone was speaking harsh, irritated words of ritual dismissal.
Valac laughed soundlessly. Good-bye, Moirin. And don't be a fool. If they get what they want, they'll only want more. They'll use you up until you're gone.
He vanished.
It was as though he took the greater part of my strength with him. I crashed back into the mortal world and fell to my knees, my hand slipping from Raphael's grip.
"Moirin?" He knelt beside me.
"Here," I said feebly. "Still here. Raphael… I think this is a foolish pursuit. It's a game to them, nothing more. They mean to trick you at every turn."
His eyes darkened. "Well, we'll just have to outwit them, won't we?"
* * *
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
I slept for a full day while the Circle of Shalomon debated and argued. I didn't care what they decided. I wanted only to sleep. During my brief moments of wakefulness, I was glad I'd sent word to Master Lo Feng not to expect me.
"They want to try again," Raphael told me on the carriage-ride home.
I leaned my head against the stiff cushions. "Valac says he's already obeyed their injunction. He's not obliged to repeat himself."
"Not Valac."
I cracked my eyes open. "Who?"
"Marbas," Raphael said softly. "He's another lesser spirit, I promise. But he holds forth the offer of the same gift. The revelation of things hidden. It may be we could complete the spell. And more, too."
"Oh, aye?"
He nodded. "Diseases and their cure."
I studied his grave face. "That would mean a great deal to you, wouldn't it?"
Raphael swallowed hard. "It would."
I closed my eyes again. "Just not soon."
"No." He pulled me into his arms and settled my head on his shoulder. "Not soon. So Valac spoke to you again? He admitted to playing a game with us?"
"Aye," I murmured.
"What else did he say?"
I was silent a moment. "He said if you get what you want, you'll only want more. You'll use me up until I'm gone."
His body stiffened. "That's a damned lie!" Is it?
"Moirin." Raphael shifted me and took me by the shoulders. His grey eyes were stormy and intense. "I swear to you on my parents' graves that I would never allow such a thing to happen. I'm a physician. It would violate my oath and every tenet I hold sacred." His gaze softened. "Not to mention the fact that I'm passing fond of you."
"Oh?" I said. "The other night you said you loved me. But perhaps that was just the fever speaking."
"No." His hands flexed on my shoulders. "Moirin… if you want to go no further, I understand. I can see the toll it takes on you. But you're young and resilient and stronger than you know. Who will you choose to trust? Me, or a spirit who's freely admitted to playing tricks on us?" His fingers tightened. "Fate brought us together for a reason. If we can win just one gift, one concession from one of them… the cure for just one form of pestilence, mayhap… we will have done something great and wonderful."
"And you would be content with that?" I asked. "One gift?"
He hesitated, then nodded reluctantly. "Yes."
"All right."
Raphael let go my shoulders and kissed my brow. "Is it terrible?" he asked gently. "You've seen and spoken to a spirit in his true form.