Naamah's Kiss - Jacqueline Carey [167]
Master Lo Feng spoke to the general and listened to his lengthy reply, his face growing ever more grave. My chest grew tight and I felt a strange pressure and ringing in my ears. The sense of the Maghuin Dhonn's presence was back and the spark of my diadh-anam was quickening inside me. All too well, I remembered the sea shining through the stone doorway and the infinite compassion in Her eyes. And I remembered what I had said to Her.
I have a very long way to go, don't I?
"No," I whispered. "Not yet, please!"
"How you know what they say?" Bao asked irritably. "I can't even hear!"
I shivered. "I don't."
General Tsieh stopped speaking. He and Master Lo exchanged bows; then Master Lo turned in the saddle and bowed to King Daniel. "The Emperor's daughter is very ill. I am summoned home to tend to her."
The King hesitated. "You're free to go as you please, of course. We are grateful for the wisdom you've shared. But forgive me… if they were many months at sea, surely it will be far too late for you to be of assistance."
"No," Master Lo Feng said with regret. "I fear it is no mortal illness. If she has not been slain, she lives. Bao and I will leave on the morrow." He conferred with the general again. The latter shook his head violently several times, glancing in my direction. Master Lo shrugged and folded his hands in his sleeves, looking calm and implacable. The general sighed and gave an abrupt bow in acquiescence.
I wanted to look away and couldn't.
"Moirin, my student." Master Lo's gaze settled on me. "If you are willing, I would very much like you to accompany us."
My diadh-anam blazed wildly in my breast. My ears rang with a sound like trumpets, the sound of destiny calling me.
I was tired, so tired.
I wanted to say no. I wanted to stay; I wanted my bed and my bower. I didn't want to cross untold oceans and venture to a stranger land than this one. I wanted the refuge I'd found as the Queen's royal companion, to continue to smooth the sharp edges of Jehanne's prickly temper and delight in her abundant passions. I wanted to spend time with my father, so recently found and so nearly lost to me. I closed my eyes and prayed to the gods of Terre d'Ange I knew best, begging them to let me stay—but Naamah turned her bright face away. Anael bowed his head over his cupped hands, showing me a bulb with a single shoot, a Camaeline snowdrop.
Their will accorded with Hers.
I was meant to go.
I rubbed my stinging eyes. "Aye, Master Lo. I'll go."
* * *
CHAPTER FIFTY-TWO
The worst part was telling Jehanne.
She knew something was amiss. She was there to receive us at the Palace, Prince Thierry at her side, unexpectedly attentive, her entourage around her. She kissed her royal husband with glad relief, and me no less gladly, her lips lingering on mine.
"My poor girl," she murmured in my ear. "You should have written me sooner. I'd have made him release you."
I shivered. "I didn't think of it."
Jehanne pulled away from me. "It is over, isn't it? This business with Raphael?"
"Aye," I said miserably. "But—"
A shadow crossed her face. She put two fingers over my lips. "Whatever it is, don't speak of it now. Tell me later. Alone."
Tired though I was, I kept my word and met with King Daniel. In the privacy of his study, I told him everything I knew about the Circle of Shalomon, every detail of the summonings we had attempted. He listened gravely, asking questions and taking notes, then dismissed me when I was finished at last.
"Moirin." He called me back as I went to leave. "I heard your answer to Master Lo Feng. Is there aught I can say to change your mind?"
I touched my chest. "Can you silence my destiny?"
"Would that I could." He studied me. "You're sure?"
I nodded. "Would that I weren't. I don't want to leave, your majesty. But I'm very, very sure."
The King sighed. "Blessed Elua hold and keep you. Go."
When I returned to my quarters, I found Jehanne there waiting for me. And alone in the bower she'd had created for me, I told her.
Jehanne slapped me hard across the face, hard