Naamah's Kiss - Jacqueline Carey [174]
"He's my brother!"
"Aye," I nodded. "And he is a beautiful, compelling man who possesses great gifts and harbors terrifying ambitions. I don't know why. I asked him to speak of it, and he refused." Tired of gossip and distortion, I held her gaze and spoke the truth that was in my heart, hoping she might hear it and understand. "I suspect it has something to do with the loss of your parents and the lingering sense of helplessness it left in him. And mayhap with this." I gestured around. "Always knowing that you were the heir to Marsilikos, while he, the firstborn, was expendable."
She was silent.
"Mayhap it has to do with his love for Queen Jehanne," I added. "And her choosing his majesty over him, despite loving Raphael, too. I don't know. All I know is that nothing he's ever wanted has been his in full, and it's left a void in him." I smiled wistfully. "I would have filled it if I could have. I thought he was my destiny. In the beginning, I would have given him my heart. But that's not what he wanted."
"And so you betrayed him for it?" Eleanore's gaze remained hard. "Chose to humiliate him publicly?"
"Your damn brother almost kill her!" Bao interjected.
I wanted to clamp my hand over his mouth; but he was right, and I was growing angry. "Being with your brother was killing me, my lady. Do you think I lie? A woman is dead because of Raphael's ambitions! I watched her die before my eyes! Do you think I forced him into sorcery? I didn't want any bedamned part of it!" I was shouting. "I did it at first because I was too stupid and besotted to say no to him, and I did it at the end because it was the only way he'd agree to help save my father's life!"
The Lady of Marsilikos blanched. "Raphael wouldn't do such a thing!"
"But he did," I said grimly. "Lady Eleanore, I'm sorry, but that's the truth. And I have nothing further to say on the topic of your brother. Am I free to go?"
She looked away and gave a brief nod. "Mayhap there is truth to what you say," she said in a bitter voice. "Even so, I would to Elua that he'd never met you, for you brought out the worst in him."
"I know." Now I just felt weary. "I wish it had been otherwise."
Raphael's sister looked back at me. "Get out of my sight."
Gawking at the exchange, the guards were slow to clear our path to the door. Bao spun his staff so fast it was a blur, one end coming to an abrupt halt a scant inch from the nearest guard's chin. The guard flushed with anger and reached for his sword-hilt, then thought better of it and stepped back.
"Smart man." Bao's voice was as smooth as silk. I didn't know whether I wanted to hug him or thump him. Both, mayhap.
We rode back to the harbor together. There was no escort this time, for which I was grateful.
"Thank you for coming with me," I said to Bao. "I wouldn't have liked to face that alone."
He nodded. "She mad because she love her brother. Still, not fair to you. I not like the way they treat you." He glanced at me. "Feel pretty good to yell, huh?"
"Aye." I hadn't realized it, but he was right. I carried a great deal of unspoken anger toward Raphael. "Still, not fair to her, either. She didn't know the truth—or, at least, didn't want to believe it."
Bao shrugged. "Life is not fair."
There was something else troubling me that I hadn't spoken of. "Bao… do you think we drove the spirit wholly out of him?"
He was silent a moment. "Why?"
"I don't know. When I looked back at Raphael at the end, the last glimpse I had of him, it seemed like there was something there." I touched my breast, where my diadh-anam had never ceased to quicken for him. "Whatever's between us, I'm not sure it's over."
Bao snorted. "You think he follow you over the ocean?"
I didn't. "No."
"Better hope it over. Lion Mane no good for you. That demon-spirit…" He shook his head. "Ask Master Lo. Maybe he know, maybe not. Is a foreign demon. Not the same as demon-spirit at home like the one got into the Emperor's daughter."
I reined Blossom to a halt. "What?"
Bao looked guilty. "Master Lo, he want to tell