Naamah's Kiss - Jacqueline Carey [176]
I turned to face the open sea.
I was leaving a mess of intrigue, ambition, and betrayal behind me, as well as love and trust and acceptance I'd never imagined finding. My father. Jehanne. I was venturing farther into the unknown, farther from my home and my people. My mother. And I still hadn't the faintest idea what it all meant.
But my diadh-anam burned strongly in my breast and I felt the Maghuin Dhonn's approval; and too, I felt the presence of Naamah's blessing on me, and to a lesser degree, Anael's.
I was venturing into the unknown, but I carried my gods within me.
"Well," I said aloud. "Here we go."
* * *
CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE
We were at sea for a very, very long time. For the first few days, I felt strange to myself. Truly, the ship was more like a floating city than a ship—based, to be sure, on my very limited experience with ships. I was surprised to learn there were other women aboard.
"Companion for the soldier," Bao explained. "All noble sons who agree to come search for Master Lo."
"Oh," I said for the thousandth time.
The women tittered behind their hands when they saw me and wanted nothing more to do with me—not that I could have spoken to them if they had. The men, soldiers and sailors alike, eyed me askance. I didn't know if it was because I was reputed to be a witch, or the Queen's concubine, or simply because I was foreign.
"All three," Bao explained. "Mostly…" He reconsidered. "No. All three." He regarded me with indolent curiosity. "What you do in bed, anyway? Two women together. Yin-yin." He banged closed fists together. "Makes no sense."
I scowled at him. "Nothing that concerns you."
He shrugged. "Fine."
Everything was strange.
The food was strange, laced with strange spices. Not bad, but strange. I ate what was brought to me, fumbling with the lacquered wooden sticks the Ch'in used for eating utensils. The bed with its wooden pillow was strange. The pillow made my neck ache. I tried to use it only once. After that, I slept with my head cushioned on my arms.
For a mercy, there was Master Lo Feng.
There was a small terrace extending beyond his quarters in the next-to-highest deck and it was there that we met for lessons, Bao spreading straw mats on the wooden planking with his usual alacrity. We sat cross-legged on them.
"Happiness is rooted in misery," Master Lo Feng said in his tranquil voice, his wrinkled eyelids closed. "Misery lurks beneath happiness. Who knows what the future holds?"
I didn't.
I breathed the Five Styles and thought about his words as I cycled through them. Like all the verses he gave me to contemplate, it was deceptively simple. I was beginning to get a better sense of the philosophy of the Way; a sense of how all things were in flux and yet all things were in balance, and one thing gave way to another thing. All things arose from the Way and all things returned to it. But today I couldn't find that point of stillness. I couldn't ponder the future without a very large question plaguing me. "Master Lo?"
"Yes?"
"What ails the Emperor's daughter?"
He opened his eyes. "I have been waiting for you to ask. Are you ready to hear?"
I nodded. "Aye."
Master Lo Feng folded his hands into his sleeves. "Xue Hu was born to Emperor Zhu's Third Concubine. Although he tried for many years with the Empress and many concubines, she is his only child. As I told you, he loves her very much. Although his councilors advised him to adopt a male heir, the Emperor refused to do so. Against their wishes, he named Xue Hu his heir."
"Her name mean Snow Tiger," Bao added helpfully.
"So it does." Master Lo gazed into the distance. "And it suited her. She was a beautiful, fearless child. Emperor Zhu was determined that she should inherit the Celestial Throne. He raised her as he would a warrior son. When I last saw her, she could ride and shoot and wield a sword as well as any boy her age."
Bao nudged me. "Maybe