Naamah's Kiss - Jacqueline Carey [268]
I breathed a cool mist into the place it had been, closed the gateway, and released the princess' face.
She blinked, frowning, and touched her temples. "It felt… strange. As though something moved inside my head. Then there was a sense of loss. But you didn't do anything."
"No?" I asked. "What is the memory you chose?"
Snow Tiger gave me a blank look, then unrolled the scroll she carried, reading the bold characters to herself by moonlight. "Do you know what is written here?"
I nodded. "Yes, my lady. You wrote of the first time you disarmed your tutor, the first time he praised you. It made you happy and proud."
"You." She took a sharp breath. "You are a bit frightening at times, Moirin of the Maghuin Dhonn."
It didn't comfort me. "I don't mean to be. I'm just… me. And it only works if you give your consent," I added. "Old Nemed was very, very clear on that point."
"So you said." Sensing my discomfort, the princess touched my arm gently. "Forgive me. I misspoke. It is your gifts that are unnerving, Moirin. Not you. You, I have come to trust wholly."
"Thank you." It made me feel better.
"You are welcome." She studied the scroll in her hands a second time, then gave herself a shake. "Come. We'll have to wake my father."
* * *
CHAPTER EIGHTY-SEVEN
I repeated the demonstration on the Emperor himself. It was profoundly unnerving. I hadn't expected it, although I should have. This was a matter of the utmost gravity. As much as he respected his daughter, the Son of Heaven would not place his trust in my gift on her word alone.
Like her, he chose a memory and committed it to paper. Generals and counselors watched with somber, doubting eyes. The Emperor was careful not to let me see what he wrote, not trusting in my alleged illiteracy.
I felt very young, very foreign, and very out of place.
"I will need…" My voice cracked with nerves. I cleared my throat. "Celestial Majesty, I will need to lay my hands on you."
"Then do so."
Reminding myself that I was a child of the Maghuin Dhonn, a rulerless folk awed by no one, I took his face in my hands and bade him to hold the memory in his thoughts and offer it freely.
I leaned close, close enough to feel his breath against my face.
Like his daughter, the Emperor had chosen a joyous memory, one of climbing the palace wall to steal peaches from a garden in the women's quarters. The happy sense of mischief in it made me smile ruefully. He offered it without hesitation, his gaze steady and unwavering, eyes only inches from mine.
I called the magic, breathed in his memory, and took it away.
I blew mist in the place where it had been.
Emperor Zhu shuddered slightly when I released him. He turned to one of his counselors, reaching out his hand for the scroll, then read what was written on it. His face was expressionless.
"Peaches," I said. "A memory of stealing peaches as a boy."
He tapped the scroll against his palm. "I chose a memory no one else could possibly know. That I remember. Committing it to paper, I remember. And yet…" His brows knit in perplexity. "I have no memory of stealing peaches."
I was silent.
"What is the purpose of this gift among your people?" the Emperor asked. "It is a dire weapon."
I took a deep breath. "When we come of age, we are taken to a sacred place, Celestial Majesty. A place with a doorway onto the spirit world. Beyond the doorway, the Maghuin Dhonn Herself accepts or rejects us as Her own."
A muscle in his face twitched. "Your bear-goddess."
"Yes," I said simply. "Those whom She rejects have their memories of it taken. It is done that the place might stay hidden. And they offer it freely because it is a memory too painful to endure."
He tapped the scroll again, deep in thought. "And you believe this is what you were sent to do?"
"I don't—" I halted. My diadh-anam flared inside me, casting out doubt. Somewhere, Bao felt