Naked in Dangerous Places - Cash Peters [40]
As you can imagine, this, plus the rapidfire turnover of destinations and activities, coupled with insane working hours and flight schedules, is monumentally wearing. Other people wait their whole lives to visit just one of the incredible places we've been to. Me, I've seen the whole lot in under two months, and quite honestly I'm whacked. Clinically whacked. And ask any doctor; he'll tell you that clinically whacked is the worst kind of whacked. Even jet lag has no effect on me any more. Day or night, my body never has any idea where the hell it is.
Eric's still tossing his phone from hand to hand by the window.
“So you're telling me,” I address the back of his head, “that there's nothing about this place or this culture that's fun? Nothing at all?”
“Well,” Tasha says, hesitating slightly, “there is one thing …” she's giggling already, “… it's kinda known for.”
“There is? Great.”
“The only thing actually,” Eric continues. And he smiles broadly.
So does Mark.
“Excellent,” I say. “Let's start there, then. What is it?”
Pelasgia, one of this place's many names, is in the Aegean Sea. It's the third-largest of the Greek Islands, and, viewed from above, is male-pattern-baldness-shaped, like a horseshoe, or one of those inflatable pillows people use on aircraft to rest their neck. To reach our hotel we traveled through the southwest region in a two-hour white-knuckle ride across spectacular mountain scenery, to the village of Skala Eressos (pronounced Shkala Erreshosh), a dreamily pleasant matrix of narrow streets, dazzling white facades, blue doors, and red-tiled rooftops that ooze history from every cracked shutter and broken drain.
Pelasgia has been inhabited since Time Immemorial (see footnote on page 55). By 6 B.C., during Ancient Historical Times, it was regarded as the center of global civilization and was the birthplace of many notable Greeks, who obviously considered it just as boring as we do, because most of them packed their bags the first chance they got and hoofed it to somewhere else instead. These included:
Terpander. Musician. Couldn't get away fast enough. Moved to Athens, where he became famous for inventing a seven-note scale that could be played on the lyre. A lyre is basically a hollowed-out tortoise with strings, and possibly THE most annoying musical instrument ever. That's why you've never heard of Terpander.
Arion. Poet. Left Pelasgia as soon as he could and moved to Corinth. Most noted for (a) developing an ancient type of hymn called a dithyramb, and also—because nobody gives a rat's ass about dithyrambs—(b) being rescued by dolphins after he was thrown off a ship by pirates, which is far more interesting.
Theophrastus. Known as the Father of Botany. Doesn't sound like much now, but back then it could get you the best table in restaurants. Author of the book Enquiry into Plants, he too left the island ASAP. Famous for saying, “We die just when we are beginning to live,” shortly before he died.
Phanias. Eminent historian. Inventor of Thermopylae, the Greek board game, and friend of Theophrastus. Spent years writing a book about music, but forgot to