Nana (Barnes & Noble Classics) - Emile Zola [117]
“No, I assure you,” replied Muffat, afraid not to answer.
“And you think that she’s a regular stick?”
He affirmatively bowed his head.
“And that’s why you come to me? Answer me! I sha’n’t be angry.”
He bowed his head again.
“Very well!” concluded she, “I thought as much. Ah! poor fellow! You know my aunt, Madame Lerat? Next time she comes get her to tell you the story of the green-grocer who lives in her street. Just fancy, the green-grocer-Drat it! the fire is hot; I must turn round again. I’ll cook my left side this time.”
As she presented her hip to the flames, a funny idea seized hold of her, and she joked herself in a jolly sort of way, delighted at seeing how plump and rosy she looked in the reflection of the fire.
“I say! I’m just like a goose. Yes! that’s it—a goose roasting. I turn, I turn. Really, I’m cooking in my own juice.”
Again she laughed aloud, when suddenly there was a sound of voices and of closing doors. Muffat, surprised, interrogated her with a look. She at once became serious, and there was an anxious expression on her face. It was no doubt Zoé’s cat, a confounded beast that was always breaking everything. Half past twelve. Whatever had she been thinking of, wasting her time in working for her cuckold’s happiness? Now that the other one was there she must get rid of him, and quickly, too.
“What were you saying?” asked the count complaisantly, delighted at finding her so amiable.
But in her desire to send him off, her humour quickly changed. She was coarse, and no longer minced her words.
“Ah! yes, the green-grocer and his wife. Well! my boy, they never got on together, not a bit! She, you know, expected all sorts of things; but he was a ninny. And so it went on till it ended like this—he, thinking her a stick, went with a lot of strumpets, and got more than he bargained for; whilst she, on her side, consoled herself with some fellows who knew a trifle more than her simpleton of a husband. And it always ends like that when you don’t understand each other. I know it does!”
Muffat paled, understanding at last her allusions, and wished to make her leave off. But she intended to have her say.
“No, hold your row! If you were not all a set of fools, you would be just as nice with your wives as you are with us; and if your wives were not a lot of geese, they would take the same trouble to keep you to themselves that we take to hook you. But you all give yourselves such confounded airs. There, my boy; put that in your pipe and smoke it.
“Do not talk about respectable women,” said he, severely. “You do not know anything about them.”
On hearing this, Nana rose on her knees.
“I don’t know anything about them! But they’re not even clean, your respectable women! No, they’re not even clean! I defy you to find one who would dare to show herself as I am here. Really, you make me laugh, with your respectable women! Don’t drive me too hard; don’t force me to say things that I should regret afterwards.”
For sole rejoinder, the count muttered a foul word between his teeth. Nana, in her turn, became deadly pale. She looked at him for a few seconds without speaking. Then, in a clear voice, she asked,
“What would you do if your wife deceived you?”
He made a menacing gesture.
“Well! and I, supposing I deceived you?”
“Oh! you,” he murmured, shrugging his shoulders.
Nana was certainly not unfeeling. Ever since the first words, she had been resisting a desire to tell him of his cuckoldom to his face. She would have liked to have confessed him quietly. But he exasperated her; she must put an end to it.
“Therefore, my boy,” she resumed, “I don’t know what the devil you’re doing here. You’ve done nothing but pester me for the last two hours. So go and join your wife, who’s consoling herself with Fauchery. Yes, I know what I’m saying; in the Rue Taitbout, at the corner of the Rue de Provence. I give you the address, you see.” Then, seeing Muffat rise on his feet, staggering like an ox that had just received a stunning blow, she added triumphantly, “Ah! they’re getting on well, your respectable