Native Son - Richard Wright [170]
“We’ve got just a few minutes,” Max said.
“Yeah,” Bigger mumbled. His eyes were half-closed; his head leaned slightly to one side and his eyes looked beyond Max at some point in space.
“Here,” Max said. “Straighten your tie.”
Bigger tugged listlessly at the knot.
“Now, maybe you’ll have to say something just once, see….”
“You mean in the court room?”
“Yes; but I’ll….”
Bigger’s eyes widened with fear.
“Naw!”
“Now, listen, son….”
“But I don’t want to say nothing.”
“I’m trying to save your life….”
Bigger’s nerves gave way and he spoke hysterically:
“They going to kill me! You know they going to kill me….”
“But you’ll have to, Bigger. Now, listen….”
“Can’t you fix it so I won’t have to say nothing?”
“It’s only a word or two. When the judge asks how you want to plead, say guilty.”
“Will I have to stand up?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t want to.”
“Don’t you realize I’m trying to save your life? Help me just this little bit….”
“I reckon I don’t care. I reckon you can’t save it.”
“You mustn’t feel that way….”
“I can’t help it.”
“Here’s another thing. The court’ll be full, see? Just go in and sit down. You’ll be right by me. And let the judge see that you notice what’s going on.”
“I hope Ma won’t be there.”
“I asked her to come. I want the judge to see her,” Max said.
“She’ll feel bad.”
“All of this is for you, Bigger.”
“I reckon I ain’t worth it.”
“Well, this thing’s bigger than you, son. In a certain sense, every Negro in America’s on trial out there today.”
“They going to kill me anyhow.”
“Not if we fight. Not if I tell them how you’ve had to live.”
A policeman walked over to Max, tapped him lightly on the shoulder, and said,
“The judge’s waiting.”
“All right,” Max said. “Come on, Bigger. Let’s go. Keep your chin up.”
They stood and were surrounded by policemen. Bigger walked beside Max down a hallway and then through a door. He saw a huge room crowded with men and women. Then he saw a small knot of black faces, over to one side of the room, behind a railing. A deep buzzing of voices came to him. Two policemen pushed the people to one side, making a path for Max and Bigger. Bigger moved forward slowly, feeling Max’s hand tugging at the sleeve of his coat. They reached the front of the room.
“Sit down,” Max whispered.
As Bigger sat the lightning of silver bulbs flashed in his eyes, they were taking more pictures of him. He was so tense in mind and body that his lips trembled. He did not know what to do with his hands; he wanted to put them into his coat pockets; but that would take too much effort and would attract attention. He kept them lying on his knees, palms up. There was a long and painful wait. The voices behind him still buzzed. Pale yellow sunshine fell through high windows and slashed the air.
He looked about. Yes; there were his mother and brother and sister; they were staring at him. There were many of his old school mates. There was his teacher, two of them. And there was G.H. and Jack and Gus and Doc. Bigger lowered his eyes. These were the people to whom he had once boasted, acted tough; people whom he had once defied. Now they were watching him as he sat here. They would feel that they were right and he was wrong. The old, hot choking sensation came back to his stomach and throat. Why could they not just shoot him and get it over with? They were going to kill him anyhow, so why make him go through with this? He was startled by the sound of a deep, hollow voice booming and a banging on a wooden table.
“Everybody rise, please….”
Everybody stood up. Bigger felt Max’s hand touching his arm and he rose and stood with Max. A man, draped in long black robes and with a dead-white face, came through a rear door and sat behind a high pulpit-like railing. That’s the judge, Bigger thought, easing back into his seat.
“Hear ye, hear ye….” Bigger heard the hollow voice booming again. He caught snatches of phrases: “…this Honorable Branch of the Cook County Criminal Court…. now in session…. pursuant to adjournment…. the Honorable Chief Justice Alvin C. Hanley, presiding….”
Bigger saw the judge