Native Son - Richard Wright [62]
“That’s all right. I wanted to ask you about last night…. Oh, you took the trunk to the station, didn’t you?” she asked.
“Yessum. This morning,” he said, detecting hesitancy and confusion in her voice.
“I see,” said Mrs. Dalton. She stood with her face tilted upward in the semi-darkness of the hallway. He had his hand on the doorknob, waiting, his muscles taut. He had to be careful with his answers now. And yet he knew he had a certain protection; he knew that a certain element of shame would keep Mrs. Dalton from asking him too much and letting him know that she was worried. He was a boy and she was an old woman. He was the hired and she was the hirer. And there was a certain distance to be kept between them.
“You left the car in the driveway last night, didn’t you?”
“Yessum. I was about to put it up,” he said, indicating that his only concern was with keeping his job and doing his duties. “But she told me to leave it.”
“And was someone with her?”
“Yessum. A gentleman.”
“That must have been pretty late, wasn’t it?”
“Yessum. A little before two, mam.”
“And you took the trunk down a little before two?”
“Yessum. She told me to.”
“She took you to her room?”
He did not want her to think that he had been alone in the room with Mary. Quickly, he recast the story in his mind.
“Yessum. They went up….”
“Oh, he was with her?”
“Yessum.”
“I see….”
“Anything wrong, mam?”
“Oh, no! I—I—I…. No; there’s nothing wrong.”
She stood in the doorway and he looked at her light-grey blind eyes, eyes almost as white as her face and hair and dress. He knew that she was really worried and wanted to ask him more questions. But he knew that she would not want to hear him tell of how drunk her daughter had been. After all, he was black and she was white. He was poor and she was rich. She would be ashamed to let him think that something was so wrong in her family that she had to ask him, a black servant, about it. He felt confident.
“Will there be anything right now, mam?”
“No. In fact, you may take the rest of the day off, if you like. Mr. Dalton is not feeling well and we’re not going out.”
“Thank you, mam.”
She turned away and he shut the door; he stood listening to the soft whisper of her shoes die away down the hall, then on the stairs. He pictured her groping her way, her hands touching the walls. She must know this house like a book, he thought. He trembled with excitement. She was white and he was black; she was rich and he was poor; she was old and he was young; she was the boss and he was the worker. He was safe; yes. When he heard the kitchen door open and shut he went to the closet and listened again. But there were no sounds.
Well, he would go out. To go out now would be the answer to the feeling of strain that had come over him while talking to Mrs. Dalton. He would go and see Bessie. That was it! He got his cap and coat and went to the basement. The suction of air through the furnace moaned and the fire was white-hot; there was enough coal to last until he came back.
He went to Forty-seventh Street and stood on the corner to wait for a car. Yes, Bessie was the one he wanted to see now. Funny, he had not thought of her much during the last day and night. Too many exciting things had been happening. He had had no need to think of her. But now he had to forget and relax and he wanted to see her. She was always home on Sunday afternoons. He wanted to see her very badly; he felt that he would be stronger to go through tomorrow if he saw her.
The street car came and he got on, thinking of how things had gone that day. No; he did not think they would suspect him of anything. He was black. Again he felt the roll of crisp bills in his pocket; if things went wrong he could always run away. He wondered how much money was in the roll; he had not even counted it. He would see when he got to Bessie’s. No; he need not be afraid. He felt the gun nestling close to his skin. That gun could always make folks stand away and think twice before bothering him.
But of the whole business there was one angle that bothered him; he should