Nearing Home - Billy Graham [47]
At the same time, avoid the pitfalls. For example, it is easy to show favoritism, even in our families. We may relate to one grandchild more than another and unconsciously spend more time with that one or give him or her more gifts. But the Bible says, “Do nothing out of favoritism” (1 Timothy 5:21). God made each of them, and He loves each of them—and so should we. Our loving and fair treatment of each should build up their faith in themselves and in God.
Remember Your Place
We are not our grandchildren’s parents, and we have to be careful not to step over the line and create tension by interfering with their parents’ work in their lives. We also need to avoid causing tension or conflict by taking sides in family disputes. Let the Bible’s admonition be your guide: “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8).
Be an Example
Remember, your children and grandchildren learn more about you through observing your actions and attitudes. Do they see Christ in you? Will they remember you as someone who was a living example of His compassion and love? Even when hard times come or the disabilities of old age overtake you, will they recall your underlying peace and joy in their midst? May they remember you as someone whose life was changed by Jesus Christ—just as theirs can be.
FIXING BROKEN RELATIONSHIPS
How do we restore a legacy that has been marred by something that may have happened many years ago, but continues to haunt us because it was never resolved? Often these have to do with broken relationships that have never been healed. Perhaps this has been true in your own life. If so, face it honestly, and do whatever you can to change it. As we grow older and look back over our lives, how will we view these unresolved conflicts?
“My mother and I always had a difficult relationship,” one woman wrote me recently, “and for the last ten years we didn’t even speak. Now she’s gone, and I’d give anything to have just one minute with her to tell her I’m sorry.” Another woman wrote, “Twelve years ago I told my son I didn’t want anything more to do with him. Now I’m wondering if I did the right thing. I feel so alone, and he’s the only family I have.” One man’s letter included this comment: “I guess you could say I burned my bridges with my family over twenty years ago. They weren’t perfect, but I have to admit I was the main problem. I’d like to get back in contact, but they’ve let me know they aren’t interested.”
Each of these (and hundreds more I could cite) tells a slightly different story, but the basic problem is the same: a broken relationship that has never been healed. Each also has another common theme: regret—regret over what happened, regret over the years that have been lost, regret because the time for healing has passed.
Don’t come to the end of your life and look back with regret over a hurt that could have been forgiven or a relationship that could have been healed—if you had only seized the initiative and taken the first step. Why don’t we do this? Often it is because of pride; we hate to admit we were wrong or at least that we had a part in causing the split. Sometimes it is because we are afraid of being rebuffed or of opening our lives to still more hurt. But whatever the reason, do not let it keep you from seeking to heal the hurts and conflicts of the past.
It is not always possible to mend a broken relationship, of course; some people simply refuse to be reconciled with someone who has hurt them or whom they have hurt. Some people also refuse to accept responsibility for what they have done, always blaming someone else for what happened. If so, you probably can’t solve their problems—but you can solve yours by being willing to go the extra mile to try to be reconciled with someone who has turned against you. You should “make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy” (Hebrews 12:14), and “if it is possible, as