Needful Things - Stephen King [48]
"Reverend Rose, if you'll recall-" Rose held up one hand imperiously and dipped the other into his jacket pocket. He came out with a pamphlet which was almost the size of a paperback book. It was, Alan saw with a sinking heart (but no real surprise), the abridged version of the State of Maine's Code of Laws.
"I now come again," Rev. Rose said in ringing tones, "to demand that you forbid this event not only in the name of decency but i'n the name of the law!"
"Reverend Rose "This is Section 24, subsection 9, paragraph 2 of the Maine State Code of Laws," Rev. Rose overrode him. His cheeks now flared with color, and Alan realized that the only thing he'd managed to do in the last few minutes was swap one crazy for another.
" 'Except where noted-uh,' " Rev. Rose read, his voice now taking on the pulpit chant with which his mostly adoring congregation was so familiar, " 'games of chance, as previously defined in Section 23 of the Code-uh, where wagers of money are induced as a condition of play, shall be deemed illegal."' He snapped the Code closed and looked at Alan. His eyes were blazing. "Shall be deemed-uh illegal!" he cried.
Alan felt a brief urge to throw his arms in the air and yell Praiseuhjeesus! When it had passed he said: "I'm aware of those sections of the Code which pertain to gambling, Reverend Rose. I looked them up after your earlier visit to me, and I showed them to Albert Martin, who does a lot of the town's legal work. His opinion was that Section 24 does not apply to such functions as Casino Nite."
He paused, then added: "I have to tell you that was my opinion, as well."
"Impossible!" Rose spat. "They propose to turn a house of the Lord into a gambler's lair, and you tell me that is legal?"
"It's every bit as legal as the bingo games that have been going on at the Daughters of Isabella Hall since 1931."
"This-uh is not bingo! This is roulette-uh! This is playing cards for money! This is"-Rev. Rose's voice trembled-"dice-uh!"
Alan caught his hands trying to make another bird, and this time he locked them together on the desk blotter. "I had Albert write a letter of inquiry to Jim Tierney, the State's Attorney General.
The answer was the same. I'm sorry, Reverend Rose. I know it offends you. Me, I've got a thing about kids on skateboards. I'd outlaw them if I could, but I can't. In a democracy we sometimes have to put up with things we don't like or approve of."
"But this is gambling!" Rev. Rose said, and there was real anguish in his voice. "This is gambling for money! How can such a thing be legal, when the Code specifically says-" "The way they do it, it's really not gambling for money. Each participant pays a donation at the door. In return, the participant is given an equal amount of play money. At the end of the night, a number of prizes-not money but prizes-are auctioned off. A VCR, a toaster-oven, a Dirt Devil, a set of china, things like that." And some dancing, interior imp made him add: "I believe the initial donation may even be tax deductible."
"It is a sinful abomination," Rev. Rose said. The color had faded from his cheeks. His nostrils flared.
"That's a moral judgment, not a legal one. It's done this way all over the country."
"Yes," Rev. Rose said. He got to his feet, clutching his Bible before him like a shield. "By the Catholics. The Catholics love gambling. I intend to put a stop to this, Chief-uh Pangborn. With your help or without it."
Alan also got up. "A couple of things, Reverend Rose. It's Sheriff Pangborn, not Chief. And I can't tell you what to say from your pulpit any more than I can tell Father Brigham what sort of events he can run in his church, or the Daughters of Isabella Hall, or the K of C Hall-as long as they're not expressly forbidden by the State's laws, that is-but I can warn you to be careful, and I think