Night Road - Kristin Hannah [116]
“Hey, Mom,” he said. “Something smells good.”
Nana came into the room. She was wiping her hands on a towel, but that was stupid because she never made a mess or got dirty. “Meatloaf and au gratin potatoes. The salad is in the fridge.”
“You didn’t have to do that,” he said, starting to loosen his hold on Grace.
She clung to him like a cobweb. “I love you, Daddy,” she said.
“I love you, too, Princess.”
Nana came closer. She peered at Daddy, her pretty face turning into another frown. “You aren’t sleeping.”
“Finals,” he said.
Grace didn’t understand. Of course he wasn’t sleeping. He just got home. “Are we gonna play rodeo tonight, Daddy?” That was her favorite. She got to ride on his back while he bucked her high into the air.
“Maybe Grace should stay with us tonight,” Nana said.
Grace tightened her hold on her daddy. “I won’t bother you, Daddy. I promise. I’ll let you study.”
“Thanks, Mom,” Daddy said, “but we’re good.”
Nana gave him a long steady look, and then shrugged. “Okay. I’ll be here before eight to pick her up. Don’t stay up too late.”
Grace felt a rush of relief when Nana was gone. She didn’t quite know why, but her grandmother scared her. It was like playing with someone’s extraspecial toy, you were always afraid you were going to accidentally break it.
She looked at her daddy and saw how tired he was. She hated when he got quiet. “They made me the queen of kindergarten,” she said, hoping to make him proud.
“Even after you punched Austin?”
“No one likes him, Daddy. They were glad I punched him.”
“What is it, the Lord of the Flies day care?”
“Huh?”
He carried her over to the sofa and sat down. She snuggled up to him, resting against his chest. This was her favorite place in the whole world. The only time she ever felt safe was when he was holding her.
“Why did they make you queen?”
She scrunched her face in thought. Then she remembered Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Charlie got to be the winner cuz he was the nicest boy. “I saved Brittany from drowning. She went in too deep so I saved her.”
“Saved Brittany from drowning,” he said, staring down at her.
She felt her cheeks grow hot. How come lies just popped out of her mouth like little soap bubbles? She couldn’t help it. No wonder no one liked her.
Daddy touched her cheek. “You know, Grace, when I was a kid, I thought I had to do everything right. Go to the right school, get the right grades, follow the rules. I wanted to make my mom … and my sister … proud of me.” He looked away. For a long time, he was quiet, and the silence made her heart hurt. Had she said the wrong thing again? Finally he cleared his throat and said, “The point is: I’m proud of you just the way you are. I love you no matter what, Gracie. You can take that to the bank.”
She didn’t know what he meant. She hated the bank, except for the strawberry candies they gave out, and she knew the rest of it wasn’t true. Once, she’d heard Daddy tell Papa that Grace was having trouble in school. Behavioral problems and no friends were the words she’d heard through the door. Her daddy had said a really bad word and asked Papa when they all just got to be happy again.
He wanted her to have friends. It was important to him. “I’m pop’lar, Daddy. I can’t hardly finish my lunch cuz everyone is talking to me so much.”
He leaned down and kissed her cheek. “Okay, Princess,” he said with a sigh. “Okay. Now let’s have something to eat before I pass out.”
“I made the meatloaf,” Grace said, smiling proudly at him. Her dad’s smile was sad, and that scared her so much she added, “And the ’tatoes.”
He kissed her again and got up. “Come on, Gracie, let’s eat.”
She hurried along behind him, trying to keep up.
* * *
Once again, Jude had awakened too early. There was no light bleeding through the louvered blinds in her bedroom, but she could feel dawn gathering on the horizon like an army before a charge.
Beside her, she felt Miles move in his sleep; he turned toward her, took her in his arms, his breath a warm caress against the back of her neck.
She rolled over and snuggled close to him,