Night Road - Kristin Hannah [43]
The big black Escalade parked. Jude stepped out of the driver’s seat and came around to them. She was wearing a heavy, floor-length cashmere robe over pajamas. Without makeup, she looked pale and tired. And pissed off. Her gaze narrowed as she looked them over. Lexi had no doubt that she saw it all: Mia’s glassy eyes and misbuttoned shirt, Zach’s unsteady stance, Tyler’s droopy eyes.
Lexi couldn’t make eye contact she was so embarrassed.
“Get in,” Jude said with a sigh. “Put on your seatbelts.”
The drive home was utterly silent. When they were all in the entryway, Jude said, “Put Tyler in the media room. He can sleep on the sofa. Now I’m going to bed.” On that, she turned her back on them and walked down the hall. At her bedroom door, she paused, turned back. “Good job for calling,” she said tiredly, and then she went into her room and closed the door.
Mia immediately giggled. Zach shushed her, and they all climbed the stairs to the second floor. Tyler fell a couple of times, yelling out curses. By the time they got him onto the sofa, he was already asleep.
At Mia’s bedroom door, Zach kissed Lexi until she couldn’t think straight, and then left her.
She and Mia crawled into the big king-sized bed. Moonlight spilled through the window, illuminating them.
“Your mom looked pretty pissed tonight,” Lexi said.
“Don’t worry about it. We did the right thing. She wouldn’t want us driving.”
Lexi lay back into the pile of soft pillows, staring up at the dark, peaked ceiling. “About what Zach said … about school…” She didn’t know how to follow that up. The dream was too sharp to handle.
“The thing is…” Mia sighed. “I want to go to USC. I actually dream about it. You know? But I’m afraid to go without Zach. I wish I were stronger … but I’m not. I need him with me.”
“I know.”
Mia rolled onto her side and looked at Lexi. “I have a secret. About Tyler and me.” She paused. “We did it.”
Lexi rolled over to face Mia. “It? You did it?”
Mia’s face was so close Lexi could smell the beer on her breath and the floral scent of her shampoo. Her green eyes were bright. “He said he loved me. I know it’s true now.”
“Details!” Lexi said, trying to keep her voice a whisper. As she listened to Mia’s story, Lexi couldn’t help thinking about Zach and how much she loved him, and she wished she hadn’t pushed him away now.
“I guess you’re officially the last virgin in our class,” Mia finally said.
Lexi closed her eyes, feeling strangely adrift, as if she’d missed some boat that everyone else was on. What if Zach only said he understood her reluctance? What if someday he just … found someone else to love?
Beside her, Mia started to snore.
Lexi thought about sneaking out of bed and going to Zach’s room. She’d never done that before—she’d promised both Jude and Mia that she wouldn’t do it—and usually it was an easy promise to keep. But tonight, she felt his absence keenly. They had so little time together. It was late December already. No matter what they all said—what they dreamed aloud—they wouldn’t be going to school together. Beginning in September, they would only see one another on breaks. If then.
She closed her eyes and dreamed of Zach, remembering the times on their beach …
“Lexi. LEXI.”
She came awake with a start.
Zach was peering down at her, his blond hair falling forward. “Come with me.”
She took his hand. It was just that simple. He pressed a finger to his lips, said sshhh as they tiptoed down the hall toward his room.
She could have stopped him, pulled back as she’d done so many times before, but suddenly all her reasons for holding back felt silly. Whatever he wanted, she wanted. She couldn’t bear the thought that she might lose him. She wanted to be everything to him while she could, so he would keep on loving her.
She followed him up onto his big bed, with its impossibly soft sheets and the airy goose-down pillows. Moonlight spilled through the open window, pooling on the white cotton.
“Here,” he said, handing