Nights of Villjamur - Mark Charan Newton [150]
So they joined in the Formanta, more about leg movements than anything else. She didn’t like this one too much, hadn’t practiced it to the extent of the others, and at first she felt awkward, to be dancing here in front of all these strangers. But with increasing confidence they weaved a complex pattern through the other dancers. There was exhilaration and tension and poignancy. Their contact soon began to transcend the postures. They held each other intimately, for an age it seemed, in that forgotten corner of Villjamur.
With these humble people she felt totally at ease for the first time in her life. This was an unlearning of her childhood, stripping away her pretentiousness, her airs and graces.
At the end of the first few dances, Randur poured the two of them some cheap wine, while she watched the revelers around her. People talked in shadows, laughter spilling across the cobbles. Children ran to meet the adults who had just performed, staring at them with a renewed sense of awe. No doubt at all about this, these people had more fun than any she had ever witnessed in the fore-city.
As the evening crept on, a wide variety of dances were performed. They both became inebriated and their rehearsed postures collapsed regularly. She found it hilarious. Inside her mind there was a letting go of something she didn’t realize she was unconsciously clinging on to.
Hours later, people began to leave. The silence of the drums left her feeling vaguely disappointed. Torches burned down low. Denlin had left earlier with an old woman, their arms linked, and Eir felt this was heartwarming somehow, and perhaps this was just how you felt about other couples when you were falling in love yourself.
Eir and Randur danced quietly across the courtyard. She was drunk, perhaps, but she desired him, right then, in whatever way it could be offered. She wasn’t aware of the rules of such a situation, and was tentatively exploring the limits of her own self. A line had been crossed and she realized that she could not simply return to being who she was before she met him. There was no going back. It surprised her pleasantly to understand that she could now only push forward.
“What are you thinking?” she asked. “I need to know.”
“Nothing much.”
She liked the way that there were just the two of them here now. It brought a surreal texture to the scene, as if the sun had finally died leaving only the pair of them on earth. Utterly alone.
“It must be something. I can tell by the way you’re looking at me.”
“You wouldn’t like to know,” he said.
“No, I would.” She was willing the words into his mouth.
Randur absentmindedly placed his hands on her waist.
Finally he said, “I was thinking how … how much I’d like to take your clothes off.”
“Here?” she said, considering her heart might stop beating. His language was so direct.
Eir looked around to make sure their conversation wasn’t being overheard, and by that gesture she let him know his suggestion was all right. Randur bent down to kiss her neck.
“How do … how do I know that you’re not just treating me like any other conquest?” She could barely voice the words, so tightly was she holding on.
“If I said anything, would it matter anyway? You’d always suspect me of not being serious, wouldn’t you?”
Eir didn’t know what to say so she just moved toward him and kissed him with a startling gentleness. His hands shifted up around her back, slid down to her thighs as she shuddered in anticipation.
She led him by the hand to the corner of the square, then down a small alley that she had barely noticed earlier.
Randur said, “You sure you want this?”
“Yes.” She laughed at his sudden uncertainty.
“You’ve never, uhm, done this before, I take it?”
“If I said anything, would it matter?” she replied, and he seemed to like that.
“Wouldn’t you at least prefer to be somewhere more comfortable?”
“I’ve spent my whole life being somewhere comfortable,” she said, then pulled his shirt off him, dropped it to one side.
Randur spun her around so that he stood behind her, a perverse version of one of their