Nightshade - Laurell K. Hamilton [67]
Talanne glanced up at him, then back to Troi. “I am sorry, sorrier than you can know, about the Green’s death. I have given orders that no more torture is to be done. It was not really I who gave permission for the torture to begin.” She looked up at Worf. “General Basha forrged my name.”
Troi noticed she had not called him her husband.
‘Why would the general do that?” Worf asked.
‘I am in charge of all prisoners. It is part of my duty as second in command. But Basha and I have an understanding. He often metes out questioning in my name. Though he never gives death orders. Only I can do that.”
‘How convenient,” Troi said.
‘I do not enjoy ordering my own people to death. Unlike Basha, I see them all as my people.” She stood and paced closer to Troi. “Even the Greens.”
Did she mean it? Troi had no way to tell. “You met with the Greens without Basha knowing about it.” Troi made it a statement, though she was far from sure it was true. There was no time to be cautious.
Worf had managed to keep his face neutral. Why shouldn’t he be calm? He thought Troi was sensing all this, not guessing.
‘I did not betray my husband,” she said.
‘I did not say you betrayed him, Talanne. I said you had met with the Greens without his knowledge. I am a mind healer, Talanne. You know what that means. Your legends tell of people like me. You cannot lie to a mind-healer.”
This wasn’t strictly true, but most Orianians seemed to believe it.
‘No! I did not betray my husband. I would not betray my own people. I obey the laws.” She turned to Worf, hands out as if pleading. “I helped make those laws. Why would I break them?”
‘Because you believe that the Greens are your people, too,” Worf said.
She stepped back from him as if he had struck her. “You use my own words against me.”
‘You have broken your own laws, betrayed your own people. You are without honor,” Worf said.
‘And now you have helped kill one of the people you met with secretly,” Troi said. “You have betrayed everyone, Talanne. Your own people and now the Greens.”
She ripped off the mask and threw it against the wall. It hit with a smack and slid to the floor. Tears were trickling from her lovely eyes.
‘What was worth all that betrayal, Talanne, what?” Troi asked.
‘Jeric, Jeric!” She screamed the name of her son and burst into tears.
Troi and Worf looked at each other. Worf’s puzzled expression matched Troi’s feelings. “What do you mean, Talanne? What about your son?” Troi asked.
‘I thought you knew everything.” Her voice was bitter. “I had lost three children, so deformed at birth that they could not survive. Three dead babies.” She stared at Troi. Her large, nearly golden eyes shimmered with unshed tears. “Do you understand what that felt like, mind-healer? Three babies that I carried in my body. Three times I felt life moving inside of me. And three times I gave birth to monsters that could not survive outside of my body.”
A visible shudder ran through Talanne’s body. Troi was glad she couldn’t feel it.
‘It was as if I were their lifeline.” She stared at Troi, tears sliding slowly down her face. “I was their mother as long as they were inside me.” Her arms folded across her abdomen. “But once they were born I couldn’t be their mother anymore. I couldn’t save them. I had to watch them die.” She bent forward, cradling her stomach.
Her voice when it came was low, almost a whisper. Troi was forced to step close to hear it at all. “I could not go through it again. I could not.”
‘You went to the Greens for help,” Troi said.
‘Yes,” she whispered.
‘Tell us,” Worf said. His deep, growling voice held none of the threat it had before. In fact Worf’s hand was halfway out toward the woman, as if to comfort her. He stared at that offered hand and clenched it to his side. The pain that blazed behind his eyes for a moment was enough to show Troi he felt the woman’s pain. Worf understood loss. Even if death was something to celebrate, some losses still hurt.