No More Parades_ A Novel - Ford Madox Ford [23]
Tietjens considered the sleeping army...That country village under the white moon, all of sackcloth sides, celluloid windows, forty men to a hut...That slumbering Arcadia was one of...how many? Thirty-seven thousand five hundred, say for a million and a half of men...But there were probably more than a million and a half in that base...Well, round the slumbering Arcadias were the fringes of virginly glimmering tents...Fourteen men to a tent...For a million...Seventy-one thousand four hundred and twenty-one tents round, say, one hundred and fifty I.B.D.'s, C.B.D.'s, R.E.B.D.'s...Base depots for infantry, cavalry, sappers, gunners, airmen, anti-airmen, telephone-men, vets, chiropodists, Royal Army Service Corps men, Pigeon Service men, Sanitary Service men, Women's Auxiliary Army Corps women, V.A.D. women--what in the world did V.A.D. stand for?--canteens, rest-tent attendants, barrack damage superintendents, parsons, priests, rabbis, Mormon bishops, Brahmins, Lamas, Imams, Fanti men, no doubt, for African troops. And all ready dependent on the acting orderly-room lance-corporals for their temporal and spiritual salvation...For, if by a slip of the pen a lance-corporal sent a Papist priest to an Ulster regiment, the Ulster men would lynch him, and all go to hell. Or, if by a slip of the tongue at the telephone, or a slip of the typewriter, he sent a division to Westoutre instead of to Dranoutre at one in the morning, the six or seven thousand poor devils in front of Dranoutre might all be massacred and nothing but His Majesty's Navy could save us...
Yet, in the end, all this tangle was satisfactorily unravelled; the drafts moved off, unknotting themselves like snakes, coiling out of inextricable bunches, sliding vertebrately over the mud to dip into their bowls--the rabbis found Jews dying to whom to administer; the vets, spavined mules; the V.A.D.'s, men without jaws and shoulders in C.C.S.'s; the camp-cookers, frozen beef; the chiropodists, ingrowing toe-nails; the dentists, decayed molars; the naval howitzers, camouflaged emplacements in picturesquely wooded dingles...Somehow they got there--even to the pots of strawberry jam by the ten dozen!
For if the acting lance-corporal, whose life hung by a hair, made a slip of the pen over a dozen pots of jam, back he went, Returned to duty...back to the frozen rifle, the ground-sheet on the liquid mud, the desperate suction on the ankle as the foot was advanced, the landscapes silhouetted with broken church towers, the continual drone of the planes, the mazes of duckboards in vast plains of slime, the unending Cockney humour, the great shells labelled Love to Little Willie...Back to the Angel with the Flaming Sword. The wrong side of him!...So, on the whole, things moved satisfactorily...
He was walking Colonel Levin imperiously between the huts towards the mess quarters, their feet crunching on the freezing gravel, the colonel hanging back a little; but a mere light-weight and without nails in his elegant bootsoles, so he had no grip on the ground. He was remarkably silent. Whatever he wanted to get out he was reluctant to come to. He brought out, however:
'I wonder you don't apply to be returned to duty...to your battalion. I jolly well should if I were you...'
Tietjens said:
'Why? Because I've had a man killed on me?...There must have been a dozen killed to-night.'
'Oh, more, very likely,' the other answered. 'It was one of our own planes that was brought down...But it isn't that...Oh, damn it!...Would you mind walking the other way?...I've the greatest respect...oh, almost...for you personally...You're a man of intellect...'
Tietjens was reflecting on a nice point of military etiquette.
This lisping, ineffectual fellow--he was a very careful Staff officer or Campion would not have had him about the place!--was given to moulding himself exactly on