No Time for Goodbye - Linwood Barclay [26]
Dr. Kinzler and I were both very quiet.
“Sometimes, I hear them. I can hear them talking, my mother, my brother. Dad. I can hear them like they’re right here in the room with me. Just talking.”
Dr. Kinzler spoke up first. “Do you talk back?”
“I think so,” Cynthia said.
“Are you dreaming when this happens?” Dr. Kinzler asked.
Cynthia pondered. “I must be. I mean, I don’t hear them right now.” She cracked a sad smile. “I didn’t hear them in the car on the way over.”
Inside, I breathed a sigh of relief.
“So maybe it’s when I’m sleeping, or daydreaming. But it’s like they’re around me, like they’re trying to talk to me.”
“What are they trying to say?” Dr. Kinzler asked.
Cynthia took her hand off my arm and linked her own fingers together in her lap. “I don’t know. It varies. Sometimes, it’s just talk. About nothing in particular. About what we’re having for dinner, or what’s on TV, nothing important. And then other times…”
I must have looked as though I was about to say something, because Dr. Kinzler shot me another look. But I wasn’t. My mouth had opened in anticipation, wondering what Cynthia was going to say. This was the first I’d heard her speak about hearing members of her family speak to her.
“Other times, I think they’re asking me to join them.”
“Join them?” Dr. Kinzler said.
“To come and be with them, so that we can all be a family again.”
“What do you say?” Dr. Kinzler asked.
“I tell them I want to go, but I can’t.”
“Why?” I asked.
Cynthia looked into my eyes and smiled sadly. “Because where they are, I might not be able to take you and Grace with me.”
8
“What if I skipped all this other stuff, and just did it right away?” he asked. “Then I could come home.”
“No no no,” she said, almost in a scolding tone. She took a moment, tried to let the calm wash over her. “I know you’d like to come back. There’s nothing I’d like more. But we need to get these other things out of the way first. You mustn’t be impatient. There were times, when I was younger, when I was a bit impetuous, too impulsive. I know now it’s better to take the time to do something right.”
She could hear him sigh at the other end of the line. “I don’t want to screw it up,” he said.
“And you won’t. You’ve always been a pleaser, you know. It’s nice to have at least one in the house.” Half a chuckle. “You’re a good boy, and I love you more than you’ll ever know.”
“I’m not really a boy anymore.”
“And I’m no little girl anymore either, but I’ll always think of how you were when you were younger.”
“It’s going to feel weird…doing it.”
“I know. But that’s what I’m trying to tell you. If you’re patient, when the time comes, once the stage is set, it’ll seem like the most natural thing in the world.”
“I suppose.” He didn’t sound convinced.
“That’s the thing you need to remember. What you’re doing, it’s all part of a grand cycle. That’s what we’re a part of. Have you seen her yet?”
“Yeah. It was strange. Part of me wanted to say hello, say to her, hey, you won’t believe who I am.”
9
The next weekend, we went up to see Cynthia’s aunt, Tess, who lived in a small, modest house about halfway up to Derby, just off the heavily wooded Derby Milford Road. She lived less than twenty minutes away, but we didn’t get up to see her nearly as often as we should. So when there was a special occasion, like Thanksgiving or Christmas or, as was the case this particular weekend, her birthday, we made a point of getting together.
That was fine with me. I loved Tess nearly as much as I did Cynthia. Not just for being such a great old gal—when I called her that I ran the risk of a dirty yet playful look—but for what she had done for Cynthia in the wake of her family’s disappearance. She’d taken in a young teenage girl who was, Cynthia would be the first to admit, a handful at times.
“There was never any choice,” Tess told me once. “She was my sister’s daughter. And my sister was gone, along with her husband, and my nephew. What the hell else could I have done?”
Tess had a way of being cantankerous,