No Way to Say Goodbye - Anna McPartlin [4]
“Hello?” she said.
“Jesus, have you seen the rain?” It was Penny.
“Yeah,” she agreed, relieved to hear her friend’s voice. “Mr Monkels is like a pig.”
“Mr Monkels smells like a pig,” Penny retorted, and Mary laughed because she was right – his farts brought tears to your eyes.
“Are you better?” Penny asked.
“Yeah.”
“No blind spots, facial paralysis or partial blindness?”
“Nope, I’m back in black.”
“Excellent,” her friend noted. “Why don’t we celebrate and head over to Killarney to see a movie?”
Mary looked out of the window again. “It’s horrible out there. I was planning on a night in with a DVD, the rain at the window, the dog on my lap and a pot of tea at my elbow.”
Penny’s heart was set on the new George Clooney film. “I swear you’re such an old lady, Mary – how the hell are you ever going to meet someone if your idea of a great night is sitting in with a dog?”
“Oh, and going to the Killarney Cineplex is a great way to meet men?” Mary countered. “Besides, there’s a lot to be said for staying in,” she continued, while attempting to remove a chocolate stain from her cardigan, armed with saliva and her thumb. At the same time she realized that the cardigan gave Penny’s previous statement some credence so she took it off. She might be unwilling to look for love in a Cineplex but she wasn’t inclined to turn into Miss Marple. “Why don’t you come over?” she asked.
“Hmmm, let me see… George Clooney or you and a dog?”
“What’s the movie?” Mary asked.
“Who cares? I just want to look at something pretty,” Penny answered, true to form.
“And I’m supposed to be the sad one!” Mary shook her head in mock-despair.
“Yeah, well, ‘Penny of the Sorrows’ doesn’t have the same ring to it. Besides, there’s nothing sad about wanting to watch that sexy bastard get up to a few tricks.”
“I used to love him in ER. He was so great with kids…”
“Yeah, that’s what’s so appealing!” Penny giggled.
Silence followed – they had reached an impasse. Mary wanted to stay within her four walls and Penny to break free of hers.
“Come on, I have a deep need to be shallow and a desperate need of distraction. If you drive, I can have a drink,” Penny pleaded.
Mary thought about it. “You always need distracting.”
Penny would have pushed, but she knew how Mary felt about crossing the mountain in the rain and also that, despite what Mary had said, her head probably felt like it had just been kicked.
“I have a bottle of wine in the fridge,” Mary said, knowing that would be the deciding factor in whether her friend chose her over a movie star.
“All right,” Penny conceded. “What’s the DVD?”
Mary grabbed it from the coffee-table. “What’s Eating Gilbert Grape?” she read off the label.
“What’s eating what?”
“It’s directed by Lasse Hallstrom.” She knew her friend hadn’t a clue or a care as to who he was.
“What?”
“He directed Once Around,” she read on.
Penny remained unimpressed.
“Which was a Sundance favourite apparently,” Mary continued pathetically.
“Sundance means worthy and worthy means complete crap.” Penny’s capacity to imbue her voice with disdain was quite theatrical.
Mary smiled. “Yeah, well, this one mentions nothing about Sundance, it’s about…” She read on silently.
Penny was busy weighing up her options. “An eating movie directed by a man who sounds like a weather system or George Clooney?” It was an unfair contest – but she didn’t feel like facing the mountain alone either and she had to get out of the house. Still, she needed more information before she committed to a night in – after all, she could always go to the pub.
Mary hadn’t noticed the actors’ names and, when at last she did, she knew the deal was sealed. “Hah! Starring Johnny Depp and Leonardo DiCaprio!” She heard Penny stand up.
“Open the wine, I’m on my way.”
2. Who is who?
Penny pulled a bottle of wine from the rack, reminding herself to replenish the dwindling supply. She was pulling on her coat when the phone rang and, thinking it would be Mary, attempting to