Nocturnes_ Five Stories of Music and Nightfall - Kazuo Ishiguro [42]
I was still a bit wary of her, and especially without Tilo around, I wasn’t so keen to sit down with her. But she gave me a big smile and did a shifting movement, like she was making room for me, so I didn’t have much choice.
We said our hellos, then for a time we just sat there side by side, not speaking. This didn’t seem so odd at first, partly because I was still getting my breath back, and partly because of the view. There was more haze and cloud than the previous day, but if you concentrated, you could still see beyond the Welsh borders to the Black Mountains. The breeze was quite strong, but not uncomfortable.
“So where’s Tilo?” I asked in the end.
“Tilo? Oh …” She put her hand up to shield her eyes. Then she pointed. “There. You see? Over there. That is Tilo.”
Some way in the distance, I could see a figure, in what might have been a green T-shirt and a white sun cap, moving along the rising path towards Worcestershire Beacon.
“Tilo wished to go for a walk,” she said.
“You didn’t want to go with him?”
“No. I decided to stay here.”
While she wasn’t by any means the irate customer from the cafe, neither was she quite the same person who’d been so warm and encouraging to me the day before. There was definitely something up, and I started preparing my defence about Hag Fraser’s.
“By the way,” I said, “I’ve been working a bit more on that song. You can hear it if you like.”
She gave this consideration, then said: “If you do not mind, perhaps not just at this minute. You see, Tilo and I have just had a talk. You might call it a disagreement.”
“Oh okay. Sorry to hear that.”
“And now he has gone off for his walk.”
Again, we sat there not talking. Then I sighed and said: “I think maybe this is all my fault.”
She turned to look at me. “Your fault? Why do you say that?”
“The reason you’ve quarrelled, the reason your holiday’s all messed up now. It’s my fault. It’s that hotel, isn’t it? It wasn’t very good, right?”
“The hotel?” She seemed puzzled. “That hotel. Well, it has some weak points. But it is a hotel, like many others.”
“But you noticed, right? You noticed all the weak points. You must have done.”
She seemed to think this over, then nodded. “It is true, I noticed the weak points. Tilo, however, did not. Tilo, of course, thought the hotel was splendid. We are so lucky, he kept saying. So lucky to find such a hotel. Then this morning we have our breakfast. For Tilo, this is a fine breakfast, the best breakfast ever. I say, Tilo, don’t be stupid. This is not a good breakfast. This is not a good hotel. He says, no, no, we are so very lucky. So I become angry. I tell the proprietress everything that is wrong. Tilo leads me away. Let’s go for a walk, he says. You will feel better then. So we come out here. And he says, Sonja, look at these hills, aren’t they so beautiful? Aren’t we fortunate to come to such a place as this for our vacation? These hills, he says, are even more wonderful than he imagined them when we listen to Elgar. He asks me, isn’t this so? Perhaps I become angry again. I tell him, these hills are not so wonderful. It is not how I imagine them when I hear Elgar’s music. Elgar’s hills are majestic and mysterious. Here, this is just like a park. This is what I say to him, and then it is his turn to be cross. He says in that case, he will walk by himself. He says we are finished, we never agree on anything now. Yes, he says, Sonja, you and me, we are finished. And off he goes! So there you are. That is why he is up there and I am down here.” She shielded her eyes again and watched Tilo’s progress.
“I’m really sorry,” I said. “If only I hadn’t sent you to that hotel in the first place …”
“Please. The hotel is not important.” She leaned forward to get a better view of Tilo. Then she turned to me and smiled, and I thought maybe there were little tears in her eyes. “Tell me,” she said. “Today, you mean to write more songs?”
“That’s the plan. Or at least, I want to finish the one I’ve been working on. The one you heard yesterday.”
“That was beautiful. And