Nolo's Essential Guide to Divorce - Emily Doskow [29]
Default Divorce Step by Step
1. File divorce forms with the local family court.
2. Try to find your spouse.
3. Get the court's permission to go ahead with the divorce without notifying your spouse (see "Serving Papers," below).
4. Submit final divorce paperwork to get a final judgment of divorce.
There's a good chance you'll be able to take care of the paperwork for a default divorce yourself if you're so inclined.
Preparing and Filing Legal Papers
Most of the work in an uncontested divorce is paperwork. Once you and your spouse agree on the big issues of property, custody, and support, all you need to do is get it all into the forms your court requires. That process can be worky, but should he fairly straightforward.
How do you learn how to prepare the legal papers you'll need and submit them to family court? This section explains some general rules that hold true pretty much everywhere. But every court has its own rules, too, so you'll need to get hold of whatever instructions and forms your court provides in pamphlets, handbooks, or online. Chapter 16 explains how to find those resources.
Will You Need Help?
Years ago, if you wanted a divorce, you just about had to hire a lawyer-hut times have changed in a big way. It's now estimated that in more than 70% of divorce proceedings, at least one party is self-represented. But whether or not you hire a lawyer, you won't he entirely on your own.
Courts have responded to the flood of people representing themselves by becoming increasingly accessible to people without lawyers. In some places, courts operate self-help centers for family law matters. At these centers, clerks will help you find the right forms, fill them out, and file them. The clerks can't give legal advice, but they can help you navigate the court's procedural rules.
Many states also have their own websites with extensive information for people representing themselves in court matters, including divorces. Some states make all forms and instructions available online; others provide much less. (See Chapter 16 to find out what your state offers.) There are also lots of do-it-yourself materials on the market. Be sure to check out anything written specifically for your local court or area.
If you and your spouse both choose self-representation, you will probably save yourselves lots of time, money, and heartache. Of course there are reasons to hire a lawyer, too. If you're not sure whether you need an attorney, see Chapter 16. That chapter also lists websites for each state and has extensive information about what's available and how to decide what kind of help you need.
How to Start the Divorce Proceeding
You begin a divorce by filing a document, usually called a "petition" or "complaint" for divorce or dissolution. It asks the court to grant a divorce. In general it's a fairly simple form to fill out.
Petitions differ enormously from court to court to give you an idea of how different they can be, they vary in length from one page up to more than 40. Some states have different forms for marriages with children and without, for contested and uncontested divorces, and for fault and no-fault divorces. Most petitions require at a minimum that you state:
• the date and place of your marriage
• the date of your separation
• whether you have children and, if so, their names, ages, and birth dates, and
• your basis for seeking a divorce (this will usually be something along the lines of "irreconcilable differences").
Some petitions also let you state what you are seeking in the divorce: for example, a division of property, a decision about child custody and support, or restoration of your former name. You may also have the option to check a box indicating that you're basing the divorce petition on "fault" grounds like adultery or abandonment. If you're doing