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If you want your divorce finalized before the end of a calendar year, submit your request early enough. Courts usually receive a rush of paperwork toward the end of the year as people try to get their divorces finalized before the tax year ends. (Your filing status for tax purposes will still be "married" if you aren't divorced by December 31 of the tax year.) If it's important to you to be divorced before the end of the calendar year, make sure you get your paperwork in early-at least eight weeks before the end of the year-so that the judge has time to review it and sign the order before December 31.

Papers You'll Need to Finalize a Default or Uncontested Divorce

• Declaration (statement under penalty of perjury)

• Marital settlement agreement

• Financial disclosures (if required)

• Notice of entry of judgment

• Judgment (for the judge to sign), and

• Other forms required by your local court.

Why Divorce Mediation Works ........................................................................................... 84

What Does Mediation Cost? .................................................................................................. 86

Is Mediation Right for You? .................................................................................................... 88

Suggesting Mediation to Your Spouse ............................................................................90

Choosing a Mediator ...................................................................................................................92

Types of Mediation ...................................................................................................................93

Therapist and Lawyer Mediators ...................................................................................... 94

Making a Short List .................................................................................................................. 96

Interviewing Mediators ......................................................................................................... 96

Choosing and Working With a Lawyer ........................................................................... 99

The Mediation Process ............................................................................................................101

The Intake Interview .............................................................................................................102

The First Session ......................................................................................................................102

Making a Plan and Moving Forward ............................................................................104

How to Make Your Mediation a Success ......................................................................107

After the Mediation, the Paperwork .............................................................................109

If Mediation Doesn't Work ...................................................................................................109

erhaps you are one of the fortunate divorcing people who can negotiate directly with your spouse with a minimum of acrimony, come to an agreement about dividing property and parenting your children, and prepare and file your court papers for an uncontested divorce, all without outside help. If so, mazel tov! You can skip this chapter (and the next one, too).

But if you're like most people and would appreciate a little help in the negotiations, divorce mediation may be a boon to you at this difficult time. And if you have kids, you may end up in mediation whether you want to or not many courts now require parents who can't agree about custody or visitation to attend mediation sessions.

Unless the court orders it, mediation is a voluntary process, and you will use it only if you and your spouse both agree to it. You can go to mediation at any point in your divorce, even if you've