Nolo's Essential Guide to Divorce - Emily Doskow [90]
Temporary Support While the Divorce Is Pending
It may take a year or more before your divorce is final, and you might not know the permanent child support figure until then. In the meantime, there are bills to pay and mouths to feed. You need some kind of temporary arrangement about child support.
Just like everything else in your divorce, this is a decision that's best made between you and your spouse, without court intervention. You know best the size of your collective financial pie and how it could be sliced to best serve everyone. So try to agree on a temporary amount of child support, and then write up a quick agreement that says what the support amount is, when it is to begin, when in each month it will be paid, and that you agree the amount is temporary. To help you figure out the amount, see "Estimating Child Support in Your Family," below. Before you even do that, you can buy yourselves some time by simply looking at your expenses and ballparking the amount that needs to change hands right away.
If you're not able to reach an agreement yourselves, you can take the issue either to mediation or to court. Sometimes, if you're the custodial parent and things aren't moving quickly enough, going to court for a temporary order (sometimes called "pendente lite," meaning it applies while the divorce case is pending) is your best option. Chapter 5 discusses these temporary court orders.
Working It Out Yourselves
If you and your spouse can decide on an amount of support that seems fair to you, you can be done with the whole issue. Child support is a very good issue to resolve yourselves, without the intervention of a court. Lawyers will tell you that typically, spouses are more likely to stick to the terms of a negotiated agreement than a court order. You'll also save money doing it yourself. But probably the most important aspect is the symbolic value of working together for your kids' welfare. It's great practice for the years of cooperative coparenting that you have ahead of you, too. After you read about all the issues that go into deciding support, have a frank discussion about how much money there is, what the kids' needs are, and what will work for everyone.
Starting With the Guidelines
To get a general idea of what a court would order as support, use your state's child support guidelines. See "How Courts Decide Support Amounts," below. If you and your spouse agree to an amount of support that's different from the guidelines, a court will usually accept the agreement. You are free, within limits, to make whatever decisions you want you could even decide that one of you is going to stay home with the kids until they reach a certain age and, to facilitate that, the other parent is going to pay more support than the guidelines would otherwise require. Your agreement should briefly state the reasons that the support amount agreed on is way outside of the guidelines, and say that you both believe that the amount is fair and is in your kids' interests.
Child support guidelines are designed to provide children with the basic support needed to feed, clothe, and care for them. It will account for things like one parent paying for the children's health insurance. Baseline child support doesn't take into account things like tutoring, sleepaway summer camp, music lessons, or snowboarding trips. If you and your spouse are trying to calculate support yourselves, don't leave out those extra expenses. Remember your child is going to keep growing, and you need to anticipate events and expenses like sports uniforms and equipment, a bar or bat mitzvah, braces, SAT and college prep expenses, driving lessons (maybe even a vehicle), graduation gift, and college tuition. Address those issues either by stating what you'll do about them, or stating that