Notes From the Hard Shoulder - James May [0]
Title
Title Page
Copyright Page
Dedication
PART 1 – I'VE A GOOD MIND TO WRITE A LETTER PLEASE KEEP OFF THE MUD
THIS JAGUAR LOOKS A BIT HALF-BAKED TO ME
BRITAIN'S SURFACE INDUSTRY FAILS TO DELIVER
MY CUP RUNNETH OVER AND INTO THE CENTRE CONSOLE
BROWN'S GREEN TAX – A BIT OF A GREY AREA
ANY COLOUR YOU LIKE AS LONG AS IT'S AVAILABLE FROM DULUX
PORSCHE OUTPERFORMS DESKTOP PRINTER – SHOCK
MEN, RISE UP AND EMBRACE THE WHEELBRACE
HOW THE PEACE AND QUIET OF ENGLAND WAS RUINED BY THE NOISE OF PEOPLE COMPLAINING
IN CASE YOU'RE READING THIS ON THE BOG, HERE ARE SOME EQUATIONS OF MOTION
IT'S A CAR, JIMMY, BUT NOT AS WE KNOW IT
PART 2 – THE FUZZY EDGE OF AUTOMOTIVE UNDERSTANDING CHARLES DARWIN MAY BE ON TO SOMETHING
NAKED MOTORCYCLE PORN SHOWING NOW
SOME OBSERVATIONS ON REAR-END HANDLING
THE FUTURE OF IN-CAR ENTERTAINMENT
THE TECHNICAL REVOLUTION IN THE TOYSHOP
THE BEST DRIVING SONG IN THE WORLD EVER
HOW TO DEAL WITH VAN DRIVERS
BE AFRAID. BE VERY AFRAID. BUT ONLY OF THE SIZE OF THE BILL.
I'M GAY, BUT NOT THAT GAY
THE BUILDING BLOCKS OF THE CAR OF THE FUTURE
THIS IS PERSONAL
IS IT A CAR? IS IT A BIKE? NO. AND NO.
IF HE KNOWS, HE'S NOT SAYING ANYTHING
PART 3 – THESE ONES ARE ACTUALLY ABOUT CARS, SORT OF HOW GREAT CARS COME TO BE ABANDONED IN OLD BARNS
BREAKING DOWN IS NOT SO HARD TO DO
LAMBORGHINIS ARE GREAT. YOU SHOULD HAVE ONE.
PIOUS PORSCHE PEDDLES PATHETIC PEDAL-POWERED PRODUCT
THE FOLLY OF TRYING TO SAVE FUEL
JEREMY CLARKSON RUINED MY DREAM CAR
THE RANGE ROVER OF OUTSTANDING NATURAL BEAUTY
POETRY ON MOTION
ONLY THE FRENCH WOULD BUILD A CAR DESIGNED TO BREAK DOWN
THESE MODERN SUPERCARS ARE ALL BLOODY RUBBISH YOU KNOW
TRACK DAYS, OR THE FUTILITY OF GOING NOWHERE
CLASSIC CARS – YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED
ACHTUNG! BENTLEY!
THE VAUXHALL VECTRA, A REPRESENTATIVE VIEW
I'VE NEVER FELT SUCH A SPANNER
PART 4 – THE THRILL OF THE OPEN ROAD (AT LEAST UNTIL THE PHOTOGRAPHER WANTS TO STOP AND TAKE A PICTURE) A CHEAP HOLIDAY IN SOMEONE ELSE'S CAMPER-VAN MISERY
THE MOTOWN STORY
A CLOT ON THE LANDSCAPE
DON'T FORGET YOUR TOOLKIT
HARLEY-DAVIDSON, A HANGING OFFENCE
I'M JUST GOING TO ICELAND, I MAY BE SOME TIME
POLICE CAR, LIGHTS, ACTION
THE SMART CAR. NOT AFTER WE'D FINISHED WITH IT.
SOURCES
INDEX
NOTES FROM THE HARD
SHOULDER
NOTES FROM THE HARD
SHOULDER
James May
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ISBN 9780753520789
Version 1.0
www.randomhouse.co.uk
This paperback edition first published in Great Britain in
2007 by
Virgin Books Ltd
Thames Wharf Studios
Rainville Road
London
W6 9HA
Copyright © James May 2007
The right of James May to be identified as the Author of this
Work has been asserted by him in accordance with the
Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988.
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A catalogue record for this book is available from
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ISBN: 9780753520789
Version 1.0
To Pullin and Green, for the
opportunity
PART 1 – I'VE A GOOD MIND TO WRITE A LETTER
PLEASE KEEP OFF THE MUD
It is time, now that someone has raised the truly preposterous notion of congestion charging in our national parks, to acknowledge a few painful realities about the countryside. There is a feeling at large that cars somehow do not