Oblomov - Ivan Goncharov [186]
She walked on sunk in thought.
‘Please understand why I am telling you this: you will be unhappy, and I alone shall be responsible for it. People will say that I seduced you, that I concealed the abyss from you on purpose. You are pure and safe with me, but how can you make people believe it? Who will believe you?’
‘That’s true,’ she said, with a shudder. ‘Listen,’ she added resolutely. ‘Let us tell Auntie everything and let her give us her blessing to-morrow….’
Oblomov turned pale.
‘What’s the matter?’ she asked.
‘Wait, Olga! Why be in such a hurry?’ he hastened to say.
His lips were trembling.
‘But didn’t you hurry me a fortnight ago?’ she asked, looking coldly and attentively at him.
‘I hadn’t thought of all the preparations at the time, and there are so many of them!’ he said, sighing. ‘Let us wait for the letter from the country.’
‘Why wait for the letter? Will this or that answer make you change your mind?’ she asked, looking at him even more attentively.
‘What an idea! Of course not! But I must take it into consideration, for we shall have to tell your aunt when our wedding is to be. It is not of love we shall be talking to her, but of all sorts of business matters for which I am not yet prepared.’
‘We will talk about that when you get the letter, but meanwhile everyone will know that we are engaged and we shall be able to see each other every day. I’m awfully bored,’ she added. ‘The days seem to go on for ever; everybody notices it, they go on pestering me and hinting slyly at you…. Oh, I’m sick of it all!’
‘Hinting at me?’ Oblomov could hardly bring himself to say the words.
‘Yes, thanks to Sonia.’
‘You see? You see? You wouldn’t listen to me then and were angry with me.’
‘What is there to see? I don’t see anything, except that you’re a coward. I’m not afraid of their hints.’
‘I’m not a coward, I’m merely careful…. Well, for goodness’ sake let’s get out of here, Olga. Look, there’s a carriage with some people we know. Oh dear, it throws me into a perspiration…. Let’s go, let’s go,’ he said fearfully, infecting her with his fear.
‘Yes, come quick!’ she said in a whisper, talking very fast.
And they almost ran along the avenue to the end of the gardens without uttering a word. Oblomov kept throwing terrified glances about him, and she bent her head very low and covered herself with her veil.
‘To-morrow, then!’ she said when they reached the shop where the footman was waiting for her.
‘No, I’d rather come the day after to-morrow – or on Friday or Saturday,’ he replied.
‘Why?’
‘Because, you see, Olga, I’m always wondering whether the letter will arrive.’
‘Well, it might, of course. But to-morrow come just for dinner, do you hear?’
‘Yes, yes, all right!’ he added hastily, and she went into the shop.
‘Dear me, how far things have gone! What a heavy weight has dropped on me all of a sudden! What am I going to do now? Son ia! Zakhar! Those dandies!’
6
HE did not notice that Zakhar served him a perfectly cold dinner, nor did he notice how after dinner he found himself in bed and fell fast asleep. The following day he was dismayed at the thought of going to see Olga. That was impossible! He imagined vividly how significantly they would all look at him. The hall porter, as it was, met him in a particularly kindly way. Semyon rushed headlong to fetch a glass of water whenever he asked for one. Katya and the nurse saw him off with a friendly smile. ‘Her fiancé, her fiancé!’ was written on all their faces, but he had not yet asked her aunt’s consent, he hadn’t a penny, and he did not know when he would have any, or what his income from the estate would be this year; there was no house in the country – some fiancé! He decided that until he received definite news from the country he would see Olga only on Sundays in the presence of witnesses. On the following morning he consequently did not think of getting ready to go to Olga’s. He did not shave or dress, but lazily turned over the pages of some French journals he had brought from the Ilyinskys’ the