Obsidian Butterfly - Laurell K. Hamilton [69]
“Are you all right?” He was bending over me, face so close that his face filled my entire vision.
I jerked back, pushing the chair and rising to my feet. The chair crashed to the floor, papers spilled everywhere. “Shit,” I said with feeling. I picked up the chair.
He bent down to help pick up the papers. His bare back made a firm curved line as he started shoveling the papers back into a pile. I watched the way the small muscles in his lower back worked, fascinated by it.
I stepped away from him. Edward was watching me from across the table. His gaze was heavy, as if he knew what I was thinking, feeling. I knew it wasn’t true, but he knew me better than most. I didn’t want anyone to know that I seemed to be unwarrantedly attracted to Bernardo. It was too embarrassing.
Edward said, “Leave us alone for a while, Bernardo.”
Bernardo stood with a bundle of papers, looking from one to the other of us. “Did I just miss something?”
“Yes,” Edward said, “Now get out.”
Bernardo looked at me. He looked a question at me, but I gave nothing back. I could feel my face unreadable and empty. Bernardo sighed and handed me the papers. “How long?”
“I’ll let you know,” Edward said.
“Wonderful. I’ll be in my room when Daddy decides to let me come out.” He stalked through the nearest door where Olaf had vanished through.
“No one likes being treated like a child,” I said.
“It’s the only way to deal with Bernardo,” Edward said. His gaze was very steady on my face, and he looked way too serious for comfort.
I started sorting the papers in my hands. I used the cleared space on the table that I’d made hours ago when I was still leaning over the table instead of slumping in the chair to read. I concentrated on sorting and didn’t look up until I felt him beside me.
I looked then and found his eyes weren’t blank. They were intense, but I still couldn’t read them. “You said you hadn’t been dating either of the guys for six months.”
I nodded.
“Have you been dating anyone else?” he asked.
I shook my head.
“No sex, then,” he said.
I shook my head again. My heart was beating faster. I so did not want him to figure this out.
“Why not?” he asked.
I looked away then, unable to meet his eyes. “I don’t have any moral high ground to preach from anymore, Edward, but I don’t do casual sex, you know that.”
“You’re jumping out of your skin every time Bernardo comes near you.”
Heat climbed up my face. “Is it that noticeable?”
“Only to me,” he said.
I was grateful for that. I spoke without looking at him. “I don’t understand it. He’s a bastard. Even my hormones usually have better taste than that.”
Edward was leaning against the table, arms crossed over his white shirt. It was exactly how Bernardo had been sitting, but it didn’t move me, and I didn’t think it was just the shirt. Edward just did not affect me in that way and never had.
“He’s handsome, and you’re horny.”
The heat that had been fading, flared until it felt like my skin would burn. “Don’t say it that way.”
“It’s the truth.”
I looked at him then, and let the anger show in my eyes. “Damn you.”
“Maybe your body knows what you need.”
I widened eyes at him. “Meaning what?”
“A good uncomplicated fuck. That’s what I mean.” He still looked calm, unmoved as if he’d said something entirely different.
“What are you saying?”
“Fuck Bernardo. Give your body what it needs. You don’t have to go back to the monsters to get laid.”
“I cannot believe you said that to me.”
“Why not? If you were having sex with someone else, wouldn’t it be easier to forget Richard and Jean-Claude? Isn’t that part of their hold on you, especially the vampire. Admit it, Anita. If you weren’t celibate, you wouldn’t be missing them as much.”
I opened my mouth to protest, closed it, and thought about what he’d said. Was he right? Was part of the reason