Of Fire and Night - Kevin J. Anderson [146]
Tired of all the bluster, excited swagger, and brave talk, Zhett let her thoughts wander to smaller concerns. Confronted with such grand events, she found it odd to worry about personal feelings. But after leaving the Osquivel shipyards--and, yes, the EDF prisoners--she was lonely. She hated how Fitzpatrick had betrayed her . . . and she hated that she missed him, too.
86
PATRICK FITZPATRICK III
No exceptions," his grandmother repeated, more annoyed at her failure than saddened to see him go. "I'm sorry, Patrick. It's been decades since I served as Chairman, and the favors people owe me don't count for as much."
Late at night, he moved through the large stainless-steel kitchen, passing from pantry to refrigerator as he made a quick snack. He had not asked Maureen to pull strings for him, but he knew she did whatever she pleased if she thought it was for his "own good."
"I'm sure you did your best," he said, mentally running through his options. "No one is blaming you." He couldn't go back to serve in the Earth Defense Forces, not because of the trauma he'd been through, but because of what they stood for and what they'd made him do. He had frequent nightmares about Kamarov's cargo ship, about giving the order to fire, about the explosion. The trader hadn't even known what was coming.
No, Mr. Fitzpatrick. I have no recollection of that whatsoever. And neither do you.
How could he serve a man like General Lanyan? Instead, Patrick should be out atoning for the pain he had caused, getting at least a token measure of justice, exposing how the Roamers had been wronged. Maybe he could find a lead as to Zhett's whereabouts. . . .
The Battleaxe wrinkled her lips in a frown. "Are you listening to me, Patrick? I can get Wanda to cook you something. It'll be much better than--"
"This is perfectly fine." The selections in her sprawling kitchen were dizzying: meats and exotic vegetables, elaborate sweets, cheeses from five different worlds. He wasn't used to extravagance anymore, and now he found it unsettling, even offensive.
Back in the EDF, he'd eaten whatever nutritionally approved meal the mess hall served, and after an initial few months of complaining, he'd learned to be satisfied with whatever there was. Roamer food at Osquivel had been unusually spiced, but he'd grown to like it. This was just too much. He got a drink from the water dispenser, disdaining the exotic juices, energy beverages, and liqueurs his grandmother kept on hand.
"The EDF will assign you to an excellent ship," Maureen continued. "Maybe even to General Lanyan himself. He always had a soft spot for you, dear. You'll be out of harm's way."
Patrick gave her a cynical look. "The General is not a man to sit on the sidelines."
"Oh. Well, then." She seemed more disturbed by the fact that she might have miscalculated than by where her grandson would be stationed. "I promise I'll get you home as soon as the emergency is over."
He had to laugh at that, but only a bitter sound came out. "Which part of the ‘emergency' do you mean? As soon as we've destroyed the hydrogues? As soon as we've recaptured our battleships from the Soldier compies? Or were you including a complete victory over all the Roamer clans as well?"
"Don't take that tone with me, Patrick. I'm trying to help you."
With his fingers, he pulled out several slices of nutty-smelling cheese and ate them straight off the gleaming counter. "Trying to be realistic, Grandmother. I've been in battle before." His throat suddenly thickened with a spasm of panic. Vivid memories of the massacre at Osquivel flooded his mind: warglobes destroying EDF ships faster than anyone could count . . . abandoning the wreck of his Manta, watching from the lifepod's tiny observation port as the rest of the EDF fleet fled, leaving him to drift all alone. "We're going to be sitting ducks."
Maureen began to pick up wrappers and packaging, putting away the food even before Patrick was finished with it. She scowled at the fingerprints and the food smears on the countertop, but she tried to sound reassuring. "If