Of Fire and Night - Kevin J. Anderson [235]
139
KOLKER
Even after restoring his connection to the worldforest, Kolker remained reticent. He had never felt so confused and unsure of himself.
Ever since he'd lost his treeling, his all-consuming desire had been to touch telink again. But now that Nira had made it possible, he still felt lost, as if his life's central goal had fallen away like a trapdoor beneath his feet. He had not been able to discuss it with his close friend Yarrod, or anyone else. He seemed farther away from them than even interstellar distances could account for. He had achieved what he'd wanted for so long. What was missing?
Though he could touch the treeling whenever he wished--especially now, with the hydrogues defeated--Kolker had avoided doing so. He wanted to understand this emptiness before he fell back on the crutch of the worldtrees. Not sure where else to turn, he decided to seek out Tery'l. Perhaps the old lens kithman could offer a different perspective. He always seemed so confident in his faith.
Though he searched in his usual meditation places, Kolker could not find the ancient man. Growing increasingly worried, the green priest asked other Ildirans until he was finally directed into the damaged part of Mijistra, where a hastily erected infirmary held many of those who had been wounded in the explosions and collapsed buildings.
In the makeshift hospital, Kolker wandered among the cots where the injured were being tended by doctors. Young and determined lens kithmen hovered over those closest to death, helping them to see the soul-threads that would guide them as they passed to a plane of infinite light. Kolker expected to find Tery'l with his comrades caring for the wounded.
But his old friend lay by himself, on a cot, among the severely injured. Tery'l had sent the other lens kithmen away, instructing them to devote their attentions to those in greatest need. "I am content," he had told them. "I know everything you could possibly say to me. I have nothing to fear."
Kolker hurried forward to the battered old man. Teryl's chest and head were bandaged and bloody, and his milky eyes stared into a bright, cloudless sky. Though Teryl's eyesight was too weak to recognize the green priest, he seemed to know Kolker by instinct. "Ah, my human friend! I am glad you came to speak with me." His papery lips curled in a faint smile. "But if you need more enlightenment, you had best listen quickly." The ancient lens kithman could barely manage a laugh, and it came out as only a rattling breath.
Kolker knelt. "What happened to you? Where were you?"
"I was among the fountains where the prisms intensify the light. It was bright and warm and glorious." Tery'l smiled. "The people evacuated, but I could not run swiftly enough. When the warglobes crashed, I was struck by falling debris. Now only frayed ends of my soul-threads are left."
Kolker touched his friend's forehead. "You'll be fine. The hydrogues are defeated, and the doctors are taking care of you. There's no reason you can't get better."
"Time is the reason. This body has simply lived too long. Ildirans have a greater life span than humans, but our bodies still have limits." He stared upward again. "I have done many good things in my life. As a lens kithman, I helped my people. I hope that our discussions have been at least interesting, if not thought-provoking."
"Yes, they have." In a rush, Kolker explained how he had finally been reunited through telink, how he'd let his mind sail through the connected trees. "I wanted it so badly, but once I achieved it . . . even telink didn't seem adequate anymore."
"What happens to green priests when they die?" the lens kithman asked.
"When we know our time is at an end, we allow ourselves to be absorbed into the worldforest mind. We connect to a tree through telink, and then our body falls among the trees." Kolker shook his head, and his voice became rough. "If I had died here without my treeling, I would have been lost forever--a meaningless death.
"At one time I pitied humans who weren't green priests.