Of Human Bondage - W. Somerset Maugham [156]
“After all there’s no reason why I shouldn’t go if I want to. ”
The struggle with himself had taken a long time, and it was getting on for seven when he entered the shop.
“I thought you weren’t coming,” the girl said to him, when he sat down.
His heart leaped in his bosom and he felt himself reddening. “I was detained. I couldn’t come before.”
“Cutting up people, I suppose?”
“Not so bad as that.”
“You are a stoodent, aren’t you?”
“Yes.”
But that seemed to satisfy her curiosity. She went away and, since at that late hour there was nobody else at her tables, she immersed herself in a novelette. This was before the time of the sixpenny reprints. There was a regular supply of inexpensive fiction written to order by poor hacks for the consumption of the illiterate. Philip was elated; she had addressed him of her own accord; he saw the time approaching when his turn would come and he would tell her exactly what he thought of her. It would be a great comfort to express the immensity of his contempt. He looked at her. It was true that her profile was beautiful; it was extraordinary how English girls of that class had so often a perfection of outline which took your breath away, but it was as cold as marble; and the faint green of her delicate skin gave an impression of unhealthiness. All the waitresses were dressed alike, in plain black dresses, with a white apron, cuffs, and a small cap. On a half sheet of paper that he had in his pocket Philip made a sketch of her as she sat leaning over her book (she outlined the words with her lips as she read), and left it on the table when he went away. It was an inspiration, for next day, when he came in, she smiled at him.
“I didn’t know you could draw,” she said.
“I was an art student in Paris for two years.”
“I showed that drawing you left behind you last night to the manageress and she was struck by it. Was it meant to be me?”
“It was,” said Philip.
When she went for his tea, one of the other girls came up to him.
“I saw that picture you done of Miss Rogers. It was the very image of her,” she said.
That was the first time he had heard her name, and when he wanted his bill he called her by it.
“I see you know my name,” she said, when she came.
“Your friend mentioned it when she said something to me about that drawing.”
“She wants you to do one of her. Don’t you do it. If you once begin you’ll have to go on, and they’ll all be wanting you to do them.” Then without a pause, with peculiar inconsequence, she said: “Where’s that young fellow that used to come with you? Has he gone away?”
“Fancy you remembering him,” said Philip.
“He was a nice-looking young fellow.”
Philip felt quite a peculiar sensation in his heart. He did not know what it was. Dunsford had jolly curling hair, a fresh complexion, and a beautiful smile. Philip thought of these advantages with envy.
“Oh, he’s in love,” said he, with a little laugh. Philip repeated every word of the conversation to himself as he limped home. She was quite friendly with him now. When opportunity arose he would offer to make a more finished sketch of her, he was sure she would like that; her face was interesting, the profile was lovely, and there was something curiously fascinating about the chlorotic color. He tried to think what it was like; at first he thought of pea soup; but, driving away that idea angrily, he thought of the petals of a yellow rosebud when you tore it to pieces before it had burst. He had no ill-feeling towards her now.
“She’s not a bad sort,” he murmured.
It was silly of him to take offense at what she had said; it was doubtless his own fault; she had not meant to make herself disagreeable: he ought to be accustomed by now to making at first sight a bad impression on people. He was flattered at the success of his drawing; she looked upon him with more interest now that she was aware of this small talent. He was restless next day. He thought of going to lunch at