• Choose a category
• All
• Classic-Fiction

By Root 9859 0

life could matter nothing to the old man, but the few more months meant everything to him: he was getting to the end of his endurance, and when he thought of going back to work in the morning he shuddered with horror. His heart beat quickly at the thought which obsessed him, and though he made an effort to put it out of his mind he could not. It would be so easy, so desperately easy. He had no feeling for the old man, he had never liked him; he had been selfish all his life, selfish to his wife who adored him, indifferent to the boy who had been put in his charge; he was not a cruel man, but a stupid, hard man, eaten up with a small sensuality. It would be easy, desperately easy. Philip did not dare. He was afraid of remorse; it would be no good having the money if he regretted all his life what he had done. Though he had told himself so often that regret was futile, there were certain things that came back to him occasionally and worried him. He wished they were not on his conscience.

His uncle opened his eyes; Philip was glad, for he looked a little more human then. He was frankly horrified at the idea that had come to him, it was murder that he was meditating; and he wondered if other people had such thoughts or whether he was abnormal and depraved. He supposed he could not have done it when it came to the point, but there the thought was, constantly recurring: if he held his hand it was from fear. His uncle spoke.

“You’re not looking forward to my death, Philip?”

Philip felt his heart beat against his chest.

“Good heavens, no.”

“That’s a good boy. I shouldn’t like you to do that. You’ll get a little bit of money when I pass away, but you mustn’t look forward to it. It wouldn’t profit you if you did.”

He spoke in a low voice, and there was a curious anxiety in his tone. It sent a pang in Philip’s heart. He wondered what strange insight might have led the old man to surmise what strange desires were in Philip’s mind.

“I hope you’ll live another twenty years,” he said.

“Oh, well, I can’t expect to do that, but if I take care of myself I don’t see why I shouldn’t last another three or four.”

He was silent for a while, and Philip found nothing to say. Then, as if he had been thinking it all over, the old man spoke again.

“Everyone has the right to live as long as he can.”

Philip wanted to distract his mind.

“By the way, I suppose you never hear from Miss Wilkinson now?”

“Yes, I had a letter some time this year. She’s married, you know.”

“Really?”

“Yes, she married a widower. I believe they’re quite comfortable.”

CXI

Next day Philip began work again, but the end which he expected within a few weeks did not come. The weeks passed into months. The winter wore away, and in the parks the trees burst into bud and into leaf. A terrible lassitude settled upon Philip. Time was passing, though it went with such heavy feet, and he thought that his youth was going and soon would have lost it and nothing would have been accomplished. His work seemed more aimless now that there was the certainty of his leaving it. He became skillful in the designing of costumes, and though he had no inventive faculty acquired quickness in the adaptation of French fashions to the English market. Sometimes he was not displeased with his drawings, but they always bungled them in the execution. He was amused to notice that he suffered from a lively irritation when his ideas were not adequately carried out. He had to walk warily. Whenever he suggested something original Mr. Sampson turned it down: their customers did not want anything outré, it was a very respectable class of business, and when you had a connexion of that sort it wasn’t worth while taking liberties with it. Once or twice he spoke sharply to Philip; he thought the young man was getting a bit above himself because Philip’s ideas did not always coincide with his own.

“You jolly well take care, my fine young fellow, or one of these days you’ll find yourself in the street.”

Philip longed to give him a punch on the nose, but he restrained himself. After all it could not possibly