Off the Cuff - Carson Kressley [43]
Suspenders should never be worn with anything else but a suit or a tuxedo. Otherwise it’s way too What’s Happening!! Never wear a belt when you wear suspenders, and for God’s sake, don’t clip them on to jeans.
BAGS
Just like all of your other accessories, the bags you use to haul your stuff around in can add a lot of flair and personality to your look. Here are a few basic bags you shouldn’t be without.
1. The “man bag” or “murse.” Most guys carry a lot of stuff to and from work, including a laptop and files. You don’t want to carry it around in ShopRite bags or you’ll look like a homeless person. You need a good-looking carryall. Not Kitty Carryall, doll.
My favorite everyday bag is a suede or leather messenger bag. It has enough room for your laptop, your files, and some other day-to-day necessities. (You probably already have a desk and an office, or cargo pants, so it shouldn’t be too huge. Carrying it shouldn’t give you a herniated disk.) There are also some cool nylon varieties out there by companies like Jack Spade. You just have to be careful with nylon because it can look like it’s from the IBM collection. They make great computers, but they’re not so great with fashion.
I know, I know. You’re going to tell me that bags actually designed as computer bags are better for your computer. But they don’t look good! If it came with your computer or from an office supply store, just throw it away. Or save it and give it to someone you don’t like for the holidays. Sometimes you have to be a slave to fashion, people. So what if you lose all your data from having your laptop jostled around? There could be worse things. Like being heckled on the commuter train.
You might be the rare and lucky recipient of a bag actually designed to hold a computer that also actually looks good. But odds are it might cost more than your laptop. Avoid bags that cost more than the computer you’re carrying in them. Or just trust me and stick with the messenger bag, okay?
Now, every once in a while, I come across a straight guy who insists on carrying a “man purse,” which is any bag that’s smaller than a laptop bag, a gym bag, or a satchel, but bigger than a wallet. These are treacherous waters, people. Carrying a leather man purse can make you look like Mackenzie Phillips on One Day at a Time if you’re not careful. Even if it’s a little bigger than you need and you don’t have enough stuff to fill it up, I still recommend a leather messenger bag rather than a man purse. So much more masculine. Fill it with porn for all I care, just put something in there.
2. The athletic or gym bag. If you’re going to carry your gym bag to and from work every day, please don’t let it be one you got free with a bottle of cologne, a deposit at your bank, or your tenth oil change at Jiffy Lube. The giveaway bag is like the free T-shirt. It’s free! So there’s a reason it looks that way. Just store it in a box marked “yard sale.” A gym bag should be stylish—something sleek, black, and nylon, with logos kept to a minimum. Carrying a dumpy free bag is just like putting a bad raincoat over a great look. It’s a buzzkill. It can ruin National Coming Out Day for everyone!
3. The weekender bag. In this day and age, most people aren’t going on really long vacations; they’re taking shorter trips and weekend getaways. And while it saddens me that the Louis Vuitton steamer trunk has gone the way of the Edsel, that means that you’ll need a good weekend bag.
You should also invest in a good quality leather or nylon dopp kit, either to take to the gym or on vacation. I keep mine packed all the time with my cleanser, toner, moisturizer, toothbrush, deodorant, laminated photos of Cher, etc. That way, I have all my basics ready to go at all times and I never forget something when I go on a trip. The dopp kit can be pretty compact; it doesn’t have to be big enough